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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: One Wishdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: iluvpoetry_1
    Elite Ratio:    2.87 - 806/439/119
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 857
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 786



    Description:
       Had one of those days!
    Just started writing again :)
    Appreciate any feedback!
    Positive or negative :)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOne Wishdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Every day the hole in my heart gets bigger.
    My eyes swell up with more tears.
    My brain is channeling through a million thoughts.

    Feeling so lost and confused no one to confide in that understands.
    Every time I look in the mirror I hate what I see.
    These feelings and thoughts aren't me.

    Can't you see that that I need you here with me ?
    Where are you?
    You're the only one that can fill this void.

    I feel like you are never going to come
    And I am going to spend the rest of my life alone.
    Maybe I don't need you.

    Maybe it's just a want.
    Can you grant me that wish?
    I could really use a wish right now........

    ~Akaila~




    Submitted on 2010-09-26 10:23:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is... amazing. It so wonderfully illustrates the confusion and longing and... honestly, I can relate to this.
    It's kinda ironic... someone actually said "you are the only one who can..." etc. to me once and in the end made me feel like the first two stanzas... :/ you describe these impossible emotions really well. Although, IMHO, fourth stanza could be worded a bit differently?
    Well done! Thank you. (:
    | Posted on 2010-10-03 00:00:00 | by EshyFishy | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, I must say this really shows a lot of passion. I can just imagine the way that a person would feel if they got their heart ripped out like that, when it was never out just stabbed and the hole got bigger and bigger. I for one feel like how this poem is describing but it's not love that stabbed me, I don't know. Anyway great poem.
    | Posted on 2010-09-26 00:00:00 | by 13thprotector | [ Reply to This ]
      This is well written, and reflects feelings we have all had at one time or another. Love at once is responsible for the most exquisite of ecstacy in one instance, and the most numbing pain and loneliness in another!

    Written with passion and feeling, as poetry is intended!
    | Posted on 2010-09-26 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this, and i like the last line as well. This poem has great passion and pain behind it. Very well written and i wish you the best and I truly hope the sun starts to shine for you again...very soon. Cheers.
    cherrywillow
    | Posted on 2010-09-26 00:00:00 | by cherrywillow | [ Reply to This ]


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