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    dots Submission Name: Impermanencedots

    Author: awastedsky
    ASL Info:    22/f/AZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 116/151/98
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 468
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 952

       fuck it. for real.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    falls to the ground as a solid
    thumps against the earth as if they were always one
    rolls to the side
    and ceases all movement
    waiting to trip you from the bottom up
    to rip out what's left of your heart.

    is an entity
    a goddess
    at play with your mind
    and she's making the world so cold
    as to stop time and freeze what's left of your soul.

    there's nothing like autumn in alaska.
    two weeks' time
    and every leaf dances from every tree
    in its beautiful shade of yellow
    an escapist all its own
    mimicking your wanderlust
    and the tapestry, though short-lived
    is complete.

    -maybe he could be thinking about you in the long run.
    -i doubt it.
    because if he was
    he would fucking talk to me
    and he never does anymore.

    Submitted on 2010-09-28 01:29:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I was at work and helpin a friend with her anatomy..ive never had anatomy before but she asked and i flipped through her text book glossary to see if i could find something useful. the question was why is cortisone and its derivatives able to pass through derma-membranes when theyre supposed to be impermiable. to find out cortisone is a protien and therefore stronger and can sneak its way through.... why am i telling you this? I misread the word permanence in your title thinking it was the word permeable. my bad.

    on to the poem.

    The impermanence is snow? it can make you slip and fall when you walk, its an obstacle, but remember its not always going to be there...it'll get out of your way or you can just melt it with an electric heater. I especially like the the way you personify temperature, making her this antagonist with godly powers over nature. very cool. the description of an alaskan autumn is lovely and concludes the two preluding stanzas beautifully. ending the piece with delicate imagery. each of those stanzas seem impersonal till the last lines..."your heart" "your soul" and "your wanderlust". taking the pretty imagery and applying it to something deeper, more meaningful.

    The last few lines, that consciousness waging war inside your head, all that frustration with wanting that some one to be with you. whether its your fauly, their fault, circumstances. its sucks. but do know that if you you had left it at the three stanzas you would have had a very pretty piece.

    and take it from me, just because some one doesnt talk to you doesnt mean they dont think of you once in awhile. just maybe space is needed? i dont know the situation, but i hope you find some peace of mind.

    | Posted on 2010-09-29 00:00:00 | by SincerWritinAsh | [ Reply to This ]

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