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    dots Submission Name: Systemdots

    Author: coloredstone
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 99/60/37
    Words: 257
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 230
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1633

       This was written for a competition with BusterLILBlock to write a piece titled "System." (Check out Buster's!) It was NOT as easy as it might look.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Seems to me that things follow a set pattern, look all around:
    Yesterday the sun came up, went down, today has become tonight--
    Show of the dark--something spectacular how stars hang in the sky.
    They are born, and they die, like the growth at the meristems of trees
    Evolving from bud to blossom to green to gold and burgundy, a cycle
    Much like moisture, it rises to the sky, collects, falls down again, rises--
    So everything just happens a certain way, like some code of conduct--
    You can say about something, "this is how it is," because it is in fact that way.
    Science tests the theories, actions are ultimately predictable--it spells success;
    This pattern is the backbone of their triumph, it is because of these rules that
    Everything we see is how we see it, that trees can grow leaves and we can breathe.
    Momentary or slight disruption might, if it could ever be caused, be disastrous.
    Such disruption, however, is impossible if the code is permanent, and evidently,
    Yes, it is stable; there is a code for every existence, and it appears, no choice.
    Single is the exeption of man--he has all the freedom in the world to pick and opt,
    To go whichever way. As a rule of system there must be a code for him too. But,
    Exploring his options, he often decides to invent himself a code. It is utterly novel, yet

    Man, breaking so carelessly off routine, so very soon finds himself so very lost.

    Submitted on 2010-09-28 13:44:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      So awesome! dude urs is waaay better than mine. Love the concept! loved how it was written! Good write stone!

    Its amazing how everything has a system, how our bodies work inside us, we dont realize the rythem the system at all.
    And then we go messing it up not following rules trying to break the laws of nature. Only humans dude only humans.
    I love how u pulled it together in the last line!

    | Posted on 2010-10-04 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this a lot.

    One of the often neglecting things in writing is the physical appearance of the work on the page. By gradually moving to the right and then suddenly breaking the pattern, you've illustrated your main point very well.

    | Posted on 2010-09-28 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]

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