Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Foolish dreamsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: taintedsmiles
    Elite Ratio:    3.83 - 62/89/71
    Words: 177
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 524
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1171



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFoolish dreamsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am sinking into my chest;
    hurting with pain,
    you can't see...
    Praying to god you can hear me scream,
    deep iside these walls:
    of my mind...
    Can you feel me?
    Can you taste these tears,
    buring my eyes?
    I want you to notice-
    that I am hurting.
    Can you find me,
    inside my maze of misery?
    Or, am I too lost in myself?
    I am thirsty for acceptance and want,
    you to hold me close...
    When I clench myself,
    in fear of embrace...
    I pray to a god;
    knowing very well,
    no one is listening...
    But I still fall to my knees;
    pound my fists to the ground-
    praying harder...
    That if I stand close to you-
    you'd feel me hurting...
    That you would just know,
    what I need-
    is just some compassion.
    I pray with these tears falling free,
    from my body.
    I pray on tattered, raw knees;
    that I can stand here staring,
    and you can just-
    FEEL me,
    in need...
    But I know with dismay in my heart,
    that these-
    are foolish dreams.




    Submitted on 2010-09-30 14:51:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I am an atheist but some of my poems are prayers. This one looks like that!

    Your self-expression is very direct and makes a powerful poem ... the sort of poem I don't want to criticize but just tell you I understood it and want to send what is asked for!

    I used to think that a cry from the heart is not quite art; but I'm getting an education from poets on this website! Was glad to read your postings.
    | Posted on 2010-10-01 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    187217

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Tired Vine written by MyPeriodical
    Meditations one written by MyPeriodical
    Blues written by TheStillSilence
    Comparisons written by MyPeriodical
    Scared written by MyPeriodical
    Human Progression written by ForgottenGraves
    Hide away written by robbie
    Giant written by MyPeriodical
    Expectations written by taintedsmiles
    Happy New Oblivion written by Pietro
    The annointed one is persecuted. written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Labor Pains written by MyPeriodical
    Mei written by Chelebel
    Leyenda de Un Maldito Cobarde written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    A Donde Llegamos written by MyPeriodical
    Silly Rulers. written by MyPeriodical
    Survive ed - right back at the beginning written by MyPeriodical
    untitled written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Behest written by Daniel Barlow
    Bust written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by MyPeriodical
    not alone written by Daniel Barlow
    potpourri written by MyPeriodical
    written by Daniel Barlow
    I am still sorry. written by MyPeriodical

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry