[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Unfinished Breakingdots

    Author: stefhy
    ASL Info:    21/f/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 165/83/37
    Words: 254
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 624
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1699

       It's not done. It's more of a free write, lyrics... When I get a guitar, I will write it better to rhythm... For now it's just crisp feeling. And quite literally unfinished.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUnfinished Breakingdots

    The words you say, the tangle of your mind
    it's confusing all the logic in mine.
    I guess love isn't stitched without the needle,
    nothing's built without time
    A muscle is built stronger through pain
    But you're wearing this old heart away.

    We've used our tears before,
    to paint over the cracks
    but it's broken my love, it's broken.
    We can't sleep this one away,
    We keep waking up to the same day
    You beg me to stay, but you start to stray
    It's broken my love, it's broken.

    Your voice sounds like hers sometimes,
    your eyes turn hazel. Green. Blue.
    The man with my heart, doesn't look like you
    My blood on your hands,
    My tricks up your sleeve
    You're squeezing my heart, but it still keeps its beat
    My name on your lips, you know me too well
    I'll forget myself if I walk away now.

    We've used our tears before,
    to paint over the cracks.
    We're broken my love, we're broken.
    There's no sleeping until it fades,
    The damage can't be changed
    I'll beg you to stay, and then start to stray
    We're broken my love, we're broken.

    Memories we wrote in pen,
    That once helped draw the smile
    The ink was cried away, was any of it worth while?
    Drink to things that we recall,
    And clink our glasses before the fall
    This time I fear,
    The end has come near.
    And we must end it all.
    I'm too broken, my love. We're all broken.

    Submitted on 2010-10-01 18:22:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i like this as a song or a poem...

    especially like the second verse...
    "we can't sleep this one away"

    usually things look better in the morning...but this problem needs to be solved before we go to bed....

    strong sentiment and such ease of delivery...reading you is a joy!

    | Posted on 2011-05-05 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      DAYUM. This is amazing! (even if it is unfinished) It has great rhythm, and a great rhyme scheme, and it touches my heart. I love your words! Sorry for the short comment, hon. Keep up the great work Peace and inspiration!

    | Posted on 2010-10-02 00:00:00 | by Draumrkopa | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cover written by saartha
    Carry written by saartha
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Love written by saartha
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Etiquette written by saartha
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Shi written by ShyOne




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]