Knowing that I will watch them grow up puts my mind at ease. Knowing that I will grow up with them puts my mind at ease too. They may take this life for granted, they might waste every available opportunity, but watching them smile makes me feel smiley too.
They may not notice me, just another shadow in their midst, but I can see right through every action, every word spoken. This being said, I am a major hypocrite. I wonder if my words are this transparent.
I look at them, bundled up in woe, wondering if I can help. I wish. But some journeys are of personal discovery.
“We’d be so free – happy alone, sharing a smile, so far from home.”
When push comes to shove.
They think at times that they are alone, but little do they know, they are surrounded. Surrounded by people. People that love them. Sometimes more than they will ever know.
There is just one person. That one person that you want to be proud to call your friend. But that person is not your friend. You want to say hello, but you can’t. You’re afraid of being judged. So opt for nothing.
I look at their faces and just for a moment, I see them in the future. At school graduation. At work. At home. With family. With loved ones. They will be successful. I believe in all of them. Whether they know it or not.
Three drops of blood.
I look at myself. A life of solitude. Solitude is bliss. Maybe occasionally I will see them, like a happy sign, a welcoming omen.
My past will be gone the day I am gone.
But I want to change the world.
But I am just a shadow.
A shadow amongst their midst, watching them grow up. And with them I will grow up too. Knowing this puts my mind at ease. I am at ease.