As I sit here smoking,
watching ephemeral curlicues bound skyward,
I think, and not without the barest twinge of bitterness
as I savour that familiar taste,
this is the one thing I have not quit; this,
and the pursuit of love, of truth
sometimes convoluted; riveted, like corduroy
or the thick flush of velvet against skin, and that
there is not one thing left untextured by the hands that graze it
as though it were a field to be ploughed
with an intricate universe of fingerprints;
how our desperate quest for that which pleasures or sustains
is helplessly entwined with death and danger,
electric fingers of adrenaline beckoning as though they too
sought something to be gained
how we bask in those rare, small moments
when we stand at the precipice, the place
where it is only fit to jump or fall,
in those rare, half-gone moments,
how we, too, are like smoke,
how there is a difference between knowing and believing,
how our clumsy hands encircle nothing entirely,
and can never embrace indefinitely
but I do know I will breathe again
in those moments half-gone and still dying;
that the same lungs I use to inhale this toxic spectre
will rise and fall again, and that this
means another second living,
and that I will rise to those moments
where I seek nothing, having been fulfilled,
and that I will know, at least,
the inner part of where the smoke goes.
| This felt like a jumble of moments, a mess of description, something you'd see in a movie, confusing but entertaining, interesting, something that gets you dizzy.|
Haha, not only this alone, part of the reason why it seems like that is because I was listening to like the last minute of Augustine by Post Harbor at the same time of reading this.
So it felt like I was watching some kind of movie.
When I read that line;
"how our clumsy hands encircle nothing entirely,"
For some reason my mind automatically imagined the back of a human with their arms up in the air trying to grasp onto the nothingness of air with the circle of their limbs.
This was just so detailed, it was...-entertaining- to read.
I liked this.
|| Posted on 2011-09-17 00:00:00 | by MyPeriodical | [ Reply to This ] || So not not nuts. This is fantastic in each & every line. ||| Posted on 2011-02-06 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ] || I hate cigarettes, and tobacco and the hold they have on everyone... |
I love this write, and I wish I had more to say about it. But I don't. It was well written, well captured, really strongly felt - and even stronger was your ability to talk a non smoker into thinking she/he understands what's in the mind of smokers. Foolish, I'm sure, but you've made me think so. Put it in such a way that everyone can relate, which is spectacular and I hope you're proud of your ability to do that.
Some of the lines that really got to me have already been mentioned, but what hasn't been mentioned is what you put in italics
This is the one thing I have not quit;
And go on about love and the pursuit of happiness. Those lines are really all that needed to be said to make me hold such a respect for your words - and to have everyone relate.
I wonder if this was just a random thought process as you smoked, or a couple smokes in and you wrote a little at a time. It does seem like it's part of a bigger something...
Anyway, I'm not getting anywhere with this, I just love it.
|| Posted on 2010-10-04 00:00:00 | by stefhy | [ Reply to This ] ||| Posted on 2010-10-03 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ] || http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=vaporize+broken+bells&aq=3||| Posted on 2010-10-03 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ] || Makes me think that you've expressed what most typical smokers think of or even feel but can't get out.Very well done.Makes the smoker think twice.||| Posted on 2010-10-02 00:00:00 | by Rex Gold | [ Reply to This ] || You know I smoke and should probably quit , but I love the way you compare this act with the pursuit of love and truth . The line "there is not one thing that is not textured by the hands that graze it" really gets me . I have often felt that we indel on each other even without trying . Even the casual passer by on the street leaves their mark . Despite the danger or possible death they represent we long for an enlightening happenstance , as our adrenaline tells our soul this should be so . I think maybe it could be better to jump than to fall . It can be a self fulfilling feeling if we can avoid the smugness this attitude can lead to . Seriously , I like this write , but I could wish that cigarettes didn't seem so fulfilling , nor make such a good analogy when considering the ramifications of social interaction . Keep up the good work .|
|| Posted on 2010-10-02 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ] || This is deadly, and I don't even smoke!||| Posted on 2010-10-02 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ] |