She watched his heart turn into sand and run between her fingers as she squeezed. The process only slowed down as his face lowered and tears seemed to dissipate. "I'm sorry" she mumbled. She trembled over his pain. She never wanted to leave him this way. She did it for herself: to move on. The only way she thought how.
The oxygen he inhaled wasn't keeping him strong anymore. This wasn't strength, as he fought back tears - just a sense of pride. This was going through the motions, no real reason or inspiration anymore. She was gone, and her hands were cold. Her whole body was cold. It was her closed eyes that broke his heart the most. He could look nowhere for comfort, and she couldn't watch the magic. The heart that was suppose to love him wasn't beating anymore. It had given up on him and it was all his fault. He hadn't loved her deep enough, or sincerely told her enough. They never really sounded sincere at all. He was sure of it.
"Mr. Kest, your family is outside. We can only let one of them in though, is there a particular person that you want?" The nurses always seemed so calm and fakely sympathetic when it came to the goodbyes. This one stood there and looked at him bitterly, as if his waiting list of visitors was more a hassal than anything else.
His eyes looked past her, and through the window to invite his brother in. "My brother. They were good friends through school, he deserves to see her one last time." The nurse started walking away mid sentence, and left. She was quickly replaced by a tall burly man, with a freshly shaved goatee. His dark hair and blue eyes always had the ladies swooning - but today he was blood shot and greasy. He clapped his hands down hard onto his brother's trembling shoulders and let out a sigh. "She's in peace now, brother. Let her rest. She deserves rest, don't you think?"
"She deserves to be alive." Neil snapped. It made the air still, and thick - no room for movement. He hung his head apologetically. The two brothers sat in silence, fighting through the unspoken words just for breath.
Allison tried again to reach out and make him better. Make him near her; but she knew she had to leave him now. Her hope for his acceptance was all she could really hold onto.
The rain fell hard and fast against the window, and with every line of water that crawled down to its own fall, her presence faded. He felt himself shake her off, and he knew undoubtedly that her soul was no longer his to long for. "I love you" he whispered. His heart left with her, being carried through the wind like pullen; invisible and light.