[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: thirty lone barsdots

    Author: chiderpop
    Elite Ratio:    0.97 - 0/0/13
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 427
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 643


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthirty lone barsdots

    A man lies dead
    beyond the stars
    nomore is to blame
    but for 30 lone bars

    its been fun
    he said with a grin
    living this life,
    a life of sin

    he swallowed them down
    without a word
    and slowly enough
    his vision blurred

    his mind was swimming
    soon to sink
    its been fun
    was all he could think

    he lied down to die
    smile on his face
    a human life
    is a great thing to waste

    he lived fast
    beyond the stars
    his life was taken
    by 30 lone bars

    Submitted on 2010-10-12 20:26:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Linger written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Every..... written by jackz
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Wavelength written by saartha
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    written by Daniel Barlow
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Push written by JanePlane
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    True Death written by layDsayD
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]