[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: trade offdots

    Author: chiderpop
    Elite Ratio:    0.97 - 0/0/13
    Words: 248
    Class/Type: Poetry/I hate you
    Total Views: 546
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1606


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotstrade offdots

    six stories up

    fifth window from the right

    it began to happen

    in the middle of the night

    i burst through the door

    and began to shout

    pissed off and coked up

    i threw the bitch out

    shiny raindrops fell

    as the night broke with a shatter

    six stories down

    the bitch broke with a splatter

    people started to yell

    as the sirens began to ring

    i just sat on my couch

    like i didnt know a thing

    through the broken window

    i heard a little alarm

    come out with your hands up

    and we wont cause any harm

    please officer you dont understand

    im innocent enough

    tell it to the judge

    as they put my hand into a cuff

    well all this pavement

    i must admit is gettin to me

    i just wanted to plant the bitch

    see if shed grow into a tree

    they tighten the straps

    as i just sit and stare

    her family looks for remorse

    sorry it just aint there

    gotta check the exchange rate

    i just dont think its fair

    who woulda known one bitch

    is worth the electric chair

    Submitted on 2010-10-12 20:40:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Linger written by saartha
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    AI written by poetotoe
    Summer written by layDsayD
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Every..... written by jackz
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]