i often think about ego (the good and bad of it). how do you let it go? how do you let God in and ego go? sometimes i feel like i am in constant mourning. i mean how do you bury self and not be? it's a struggle.
i find myself settling on the thought that life is a love lesson and i am not God.
i have always loved this ee cummings poem:
i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
*******
it's mostly the 'human merely being' part that gets me everytime.
and me merely being? i am at my best when my hands are dirty.
I really really really like parts of this,
even the cliché stuff is not too bad because it's altered slightly and there's a nice contagious effect about the rhythms and original lines you do put in.
If it were mine i'd
a)
b)
c)
d)
e)
but I've been ruining everything I've tried to write for a while now, still it's about the attempt and the result.
pretty namesake for and end?
it's just that the repeat of a grave, a grave, a grave, a grave, was plentiful much much already.
Things are slow here but I hope you get some specific comments because this has enough good going on to perk a reader up.