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    dots Submission Name: Doesn't get any betterdots

    Author: blankscreen
    ASL Info:    22/f/NY
    Elite Ratio:    5.57 - 222/196/163
    Words: 153
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 999
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 971


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDoesn't get any betterdots

    I walk around in circles because I am only half there
    Maimed by what you did to me
    I am broken right down through the center
    Shattered in pieces through the core
    I can’t sleep a night without waking up screaming
    Suffocated by my own tears
    I won’t sleep
    Afraid you’ll return
    Under the guise of turned-down eyelids
    And fabric softened sheets
    Like you could travel countries in my sleep
    When I talk
    I hear voices mimicking mine
    I’ve forgotten how to say it anyway
    Sometimes an actress is better than whole
    Because I haven’t glued
    Or sewed
    Or knitted my shadow back on me just yet
    3 years down the road
    All I have gotten is a half broken heart
    Eyes which won’t shut
    And a voice that isn’t there
    I am maimed by my past
    And I am only half whole
    Pacing in circles from what you did to me.

    Submitted on 2010-10-21 00:02:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You have succeeded in being blatant in emotion and obscure in reasoning. This piece makes one wonder to the state of the author. Could this be serious out pouring of legitimate emotion? Perhaps it could be simply anchored in against? We are left guessing, and ultimately to decide for ourselves (we the readers). This is a brilliant writing strategy because so long as the audience doesnt just out right dismiss the work, it will more often than not make a personal connection to the reader. People tend to enjoy more the work they feel has a connection to them on a personal level. Reaching these personal levels is how the author reaches out and speaks to his readers. Nicely done.
    | Posted on 2010-10-21 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]

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