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    dots Submission Name: Like A Fludots

    Author: EshyFishy
    ASL Info:    21yo mess having crises
    Elite Ratio:    6.92 - 126/123/57
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 447
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 752

       Wow, in hindsight this is really embarrassing to read, haha. Especially now cuz I am CURED! Hehe.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLike A Fludots

    Remember what you told me?
    That night
    When everything seemed so right

    In reality, it was all wrong
    The world was dead
    All the crap in my head

    My head imagines things
    But what you said was real
    It was just how you feel

    How you feel now has changed
    So radically, no warning
    How didn't I see it coming?

    I was so blinded
    By everything about you
    Maybe "love" is like a flu

    You catch it for a while
    But you can get better
    And the past doesn't matter

    I don't matter to you
    So help me to forget this
    From when we first met
    To the last kiss.

    Submitted on 2010-10-23 04:06:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      The title is like a flu. This is a good metaphor I think if you gave it some thought you could incorporate this metaphor into your poem. In other words show with your words how it was like the flu.

    Remember what you told me?
    That night
    When everything seemed so right
    It was just the first symptom
    I misread the shivers you gave me
    In reality, it was all wrong
    The fever was real but
    All the crap in my head
    meant I should have been in bed
    | Posted on 2010-12-27 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      The title and what you are referring to is basically you saying "This is something I wish to never have again."
    Which comes with the feeling that you don't deserve it or didn't.Your flourishing with emotions ready to be set out.Your keep coming with minor explosions that only have to do with one thing that has everything to do with several events that caused profound pain.When I say minor, I mean that in the sense that it will pass with not being anything major once you finally make it to the space and position you want to be in.Awy from all the things like this of bull[censored] and what reminds you of it.This scares the crap out of me kinda too.Because I never want to be the person that someone ends up regret meeting or even wishing I was never introduced to them.And with that being in my mind whenever I think of friendship it makes me believe that I have to be the best friend or person of compassion towards another I can possibly be.
    I find total disappointment and let down in this one but more vibrant than the other two I've read and gave commentary on.Mainly on the note of you saying; "I'm not done with getting my issue off but I'm also not letting it take over my mind." Thats strong just bc take the let down of being shot down by someone of trust.
    Makes me think of how vulnerable and sensitive you may be which is and never will be criticized by me because I'm human too.Everything you write to get over the hump use it to shield you but not shut you down and distance you from others but use them to empower you and most of all learn from.I can relate.

    | Posted on 2010-10-23 00:00:00 | by Rex Gold | [ Reply to This ]

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