Thanks for recomending this, I enjoyed it. I dont very well know how to say much for a comment, it was sweet and tender and the imagery you used made it so. I enjoyed it. Easy on the mind and refreshing.
The rhythm, the beat of this is good. It pours into the mind and from the mouth then into the ears smoothly. It's very visual. Everything it conjurs is right there, front and center. Beautiful imagery. I like rhyming pieces when they have a definite flow. This one has that. Nice work.
Reading this as an anonymous post, I'd say this has precise meter and rhyme, and is lovely in it's images; nostalgic/reflective and rather sunny and hopeful. A nice effort that could use polish to bring out the shine.
Reading this with my personal experience with your other posts, I'd say I just heard Captain Spock singing along to the Mary Poppins soundtrack...
with a smile.
An enlightening read. No references needed. My brain thanks you.
this makes me think of a female artist with a lifetime of sorroe, used to color her art. maybe not soley sorrow. the lighthouse is like her conventional understanding./the sailing ship her wandering mind. how she always ventures to sea but comes back again. this could work for any artform in my opinion. i wish you'd do more stuff like this. actually. the overly complex stuff has it's place and i understand why you do it. more as a personal tool for dissecting relationships etc/or sharing for the sake of others, but you could do alot with simpler structure and more story telling it seems. i'd like to read something like this from you much longer, if you got anything let me know. it worked well for a story type poem/and still written in a way that had me thinking which i like from poetry.
I really like this one. The meter is superb. It think it's original to describe water as wild as waterfalls as windswept. I don't think this could be better, unless you wanted to add punctuation here or there to help the reader, but that depends on your opinion. I like how you smoothly connected a lighthouse and a willow tree, and ended both the paragraphs similarly, but not the same. Thanks for sharing this one.
there is an individual style that each of us as writers must discover. A true voice if you will. I like this because after reading some of your other works and then this, I feel like this is you coming a little closer to that individual style.
Obviously you possess talent. I can't wait to see the finished result of your vocabulary play and some of the other styles you experiment with.