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The party has ended, the hostess passed out. I put her to bed, and then locked up her house. It's one in the morning, I've just started thinking there's maybe a problem, cuz I ain't done drinking. A full moon is shining, and I'm half-way through two-fifths of jaeger, with nothing to do. I can't go to sleep, cuz the nightmares I've had are increasing in number, increasingly bad... The cops have my guns, and my home isn't "home" and I can't bear the thought of staying here alone. They say, "12 Step Programs should be your new scene." They say, "You're still young, girl, you're still kinda green..." But they don't know what I know, and I know it all, which means that I'm facing one helluva fall, but three-fifths of jaeger is my new "last call" and I know what I know, which means I know it all. The teen-somethings passed out 11:05, and I'm still walking straight and able to drive. Sex with three men, yet I'm ready for more... Does that really make me a nympho-mode whore??? What happened to "Let's tear this little town down!!!"? Why am I still awake, the last one still around? What's wrong with me, that I can't get my fill of the party-crowd, stupidness, booze and the pills? I should be the one who is sleeping in bed, instead of staying up, restless instead... with not enough liquor and not enough weed, and not enough love to fulfill all my needs? God please forgive me, if I should give up, but I can't take this anymore... enough is enough. |
i was married to an alcholic..a recovering one... intense ups and downs...other vices when she could no longer drink or do coke... got into working out..and it became her drink her drug...and was in and out of love...insatiable appetite for sex but never satisfied...never fulfilled..life just one big gap.. i think of her when reading this...very sad to feel that way...never satisified ..never enough of anything.. this poem is wringing with real feelings..real guts, a true confessional piece that is personal to the speaker yet relatable to many who read it. | Posted on 2011-03-19 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ] | drinking hard liquare drinking up lust | having some fun with troubles to bust street light glitters, follow is a must waking up the very next day with hang overs while problems stay damn screw the year of my birthday sorry, for my piece of input Nice wording in this poem | Posted on 2010-12-16 00:00:00 | by cripto | [ Reply to This ] | Wow needs must when the devil drives. I would love to party with you. I mean it might kill me but what a way to go! | | Posted on 2010-12-04 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ] | This tells a lucid story, while maintaining a rhyme scheme and passable meter; all of these, being hard to accomplish. Interesting, adventuresome tale too! | I'm a recovering alcoholic, and so I know what at least part of this is about! Nice work! | Posted on 2010-11-01 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ] | I totally understand this.Your saying that this is not the lifestyle you are suppose to have "The scene".I can relate so much bc I've pretty much been in the same boat with the whole sex, party and drugs type of atmosphere and to be honest it's dangerous.Dangerous for your spirit but healthy to your ego and it can keep you from doing great things. | But I don't knock it either bc your young and it helps to experience that environment so that you would learn from the mistakes that comes with it.Happy to comment first.If I answered the question I would be judging someone I really do not know so I'll pass on it. FAV.It'soooo hard to give up that way of living and you just want the higher power to know that you WANT to do so much better and move past it.I also like it because your addressing your own problems and not running away from them no matter who is reading them.I personally know that nothing great nor really good comes from the "party animal" type lifestyle. I can't take this anymore should have been I don't want to live like this anymore.That's the only part I feel should have been corrected. Thanks for sharing.Andddd what else I find cool is that you realized you had or have a major problem while you were under the influence. I'm assuming your in your early 20s or mids. After the reading of the first part I thought you were gonna ask yourself "Am I vain as I allow?" That there would have sparked even more interest for the reader though you have gotten your point across here with me. I believe the only way to avoid that type of life or way of living is to just get introduced to new positive things that will eventually draw you away from this, making you more knowledgeable of the path you were going down. But if your in your late 20s then this is typical behavior of being "tired" of the repeating desires and whatever.Good luck to you. I don't think the ones who read it before me could pinpoint whats going on here or they can't relate at all and were only interested because they thought the title was saying you completely hate your life.I find that coolz bc you took the opposite route instead of writing something so depressing.The visualization I had in mind is of a woman in a VIP section who wakes up internally while walking over sleeping bodies of younger ppl who may not even get the wake up call you have received.So it definitely has this message of not doing something reckless again.I don't even know you that well and I can clearly see with this you are maturing. Cyaz RG | Posted on 2010-10-24 00:00:00 | by Rex Gold | [ Reply to This ] | |