Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

The depths


Author: concrete_rose
ASL Info:    31/f/nc
Elite Ratio:    2.59 - 43 /52 /34
Words: 142
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1336
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 935



Description:


I need some feedback on this good or bad maybe a little help on word play
thx
just a very quick write 5 mins tops!!


The depths




Discovering the truth about ones self
Can almost always be exhilarating, surprising, interesting
The promise of a brighter future equals happiness
Realizing the self is strong and powerful:
Against the evils of this world
There is no greater knowledge

To once be drowning in the sea of miseries,
And then pleasantly washed upon the sands of recognition
The realization that there isn’t need for uncalled for desperation
There are many chances
We are all worth something to a greater power extending our own selves.

We all must reach down into our bosoms
And claw away our own insanities that drive us mad
And cause us to spiral away from the sun
And lift ourselves up into the skies the clear blue apparatus
Cleanse our failures and be wiped clean to start again.

10/28/10




Submitted on 2010-10-28 23:50:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments



Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



187577