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    dots Submission Name: Love And Youdots

    Author: GhiHaD
    ASL Info:    22/Male/Australia
    Elite Ratio:    2.84 - 46/64/24
    Words: 120
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 957
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 734

       written for my gal as a little way of saying i love you

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove And Youdots

    Trust the person you love
    Beckon with whispering minds
    Although we sometimes fight
    Hate is impossible to find

    I have your name
    You hold my heart
    Love is unpredictable
    Do we have the will to start

    I love you more than you will ever know
    Attracted to you like moth to flame
    Missing you day by day
    It's your love that keeps me sane

    We are in love and best of friends
    My soul is yours if you will accept
    I need you in my life
    Friendship will always be kept

    You are more than i could ever dream
    Please remain with me for life
    If only i was more
    If only you were my wife

    Submitted on 2004-07-26 22:28:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I'm not really good on commenting about love pieces, but I thought it was pretty good. It's strange how people assume that love stories tend to be real, it outcasts the poet's true imagination and talent. Anyway, overall, this poem gives an original setting of love. Nice job.
    | Posted on 2004-07-27 00:00:00 | by Dolor | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice work, obviously written with a lot of feeling. There are a couple of unintentional typos and sentence fragments instead of whole sentences, but I get the feeling that it's just a result of posting here and you'll probably edit them out anyway. I'd say go for more vivid imagery and you have a great concept to work with here.

    Keep writing.

    Peace, O
    | Posted on 2004-07-26 00:00:00 | by Occam | [ Reply to This ]

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