I'm not really good on commenting about love pieces, but I thought it was pretty good. It's strange how people assume that love stories tend to be real, it outcasts the poet's true imagination and talent. Anyway, overall, this poem gives an original setting of love. Nice job.
Nice work, obviously written with a lot of feeling. There are a couple of unintentional typos and sentence fragments instead of whole sentences, but I get the feeling that it's just a result of posting here and you'll probably edit them out anyway. I'd say go for more vivid imagery and you have a great concept to work with here.