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The Wrong Girl For You


Author: Runes
Elite Ratio:    5.29 - 790 /815 /281
Words: 156
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 694
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 907



Description:




The Wrong Girl For You




If a few words would have made a difference,
you asked the wrong girl.

I can kiss glued lips, unzip plastic gray bags,
press my ear to a swollen chest where no heart beats...
but I can't bring the dead back to life. Never could,
probably should have thought of something more to say
than "I don't want his bloody shoes," but there again,
what would I have done with a pair of bloody shoes?

Walk a mile in them for you?
It wouldn't have done a damn bit of good.

I keep your ashes as my punishment, pick up the pieces
on the ground as I find them, keep them hidden
in a box until I have enough of you
if that is possible, to ever have enough of you...

But words? I have none for this mess.
You definitely asked the wrong girl.




Submitted on 2010-11-06 19:16:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  "i keep your ashes as my punishment" now most of us believe that keeping the ashes of someone is because we want them around, not to let them haunt us in a way.. i like how you turned that around, and i never truly understand how people try to answer questions they no nothing about. it always leads to them looking stupid or trouble, so its good to know when someone is smart enough to say that they simply asked the wrong person. goodwrite!
| Posted on 2010-12-04 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
  Now this is interesting.

I must say, I read the title and my mind went a completely different direction. I like your direction much better.

There are some really fantastic things about this, particularly the play on words:

"than 'I don't want his bloody shoes,' but there again,
what would I have done with a pair of bloody shoes?"

I LOVE THIS. It makes the poem. Now as the reader, my unique experience is that I begin to wonder. The wheels are turning, are the shoes literally bloody (EWWWW), or is she simply saying "What the hell am I going to do with his shoes? The shoes don't make the man". Each understanding gives the poem a different feel.

The second, I think, lends more to the IDEA of the woman who is in this poem. I prefer that understanding because it fits my view of the poem. Of course, this is yours and I can only speculate.

I enjoyed reading this, as always. I do love your work. Thank you for sharing!

~Clover

| Posted on 2010-11-08 00:00:00 | by clovernfoxglove | [ Reply to This ]
  A punch in the gut, some of these words just come to life as electric eels dancing on my spine, there is a knowing here, a feeling not taking kindly to inspection but real in the most sincere sense. I have to say some of these lines live in my own head, it is like a mirror suddenly said something, as if they let something slip, some deep secret. A haunting if you will..

These words are swords.
| Posted on 2010-11-07 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
  i'm gonna go ahead and say none of this is literal. sometimes words don't make a bit of difference. not a good one anyhow.

i've tried to wear others bloodied shoes. stained my feet but found not much practical to speak afterwards.

tried to have others wear my bloodied shoes when i felt like it would make a difference. same thing happened in response.

certain wounds.

well yeah words don't make a difference sometimes.

or it's hard to make out the differences from the similarities when the differences people make for themselves aren't the ones people need from them and vise-versa.

i guess i figure myself to be worse-off than i am sometimes. for short periods of time, but still enough to do damage. not like before though. it scares me the things i got away with saying on this place to have it praised, but i guess in context it's what i needed at the time. i'm glad to be less bitter than i have in the past. glad i let go better than some people. glad i'm learning how to do so in general now.

i think you meant "then" instead of there after the quote.

as far as ashes. well those usually don't help if we're keeping them for punishment. guilt does very little as an afterthought. for me at least. but i guess i'm walking in your bloody shoes........i'll fall short of a mile though. don't feel guilty for the past you can't change....is what advice i leave.........i've done that before, spent years of my life spinning in little things that could have been, should have been, or would have been, and felt like i needed the ashes around to remind me what i've burnt. some things burnt down cuz they had to. past relationships, potential for them.........etc...... some were just because i had a heart full of matches. but i guess that's youth for alot of people. not that i'm suddenly old and wise. but so many parts of me want that easily functioning practical approach i use to despise.
anyhow, this is heartfelt as always. if i'm taking this wrong, well i'm sorry. i do that allot. don't mean to, but asphyxiation never helped.
| Posted on 2010-11-06 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]


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