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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Liquid Poisondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 204
    Class/Type: Fanfic/Depressed
    Total Views: 435
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1166



    Description:
       No longer on drugs I gave this up for a new life for a life I've always wanted I still however think of my past mostly its dreams...I was with this person I mention for mm 4yrs! and we did drugs together


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLiquid Poisondots
    -------------------------------------------


    I awaken today from a dream I have dreamed countless times
    Your standing above me with the needle & in it is our liquid poison
    I lye there happy we have
    our blow
    our heroin
    Ready and waiting for you to inject me with our liquid fire
    I can see this as clear as I can see the screen in front of me...

    I wonder now awaken from this nightmare
    When will I no longer dream of such things
    When will the day come that I am no longer interested in our liquid poison
    Now alert I shall sit here helpless...
    Deep down secretly aching for this liquid poison

    A temporary fix for life's problems I knew this
    Living on cloud 9 even if it were only for a few moments
    Made the days that much easier
    This liquid poison carried the weight of the world
    Or rather it removed the all the weight off these shoulders of mine

    Even for only a few moments in time
    I flew above this earth
    I flew in the sky
    With all the clouds and birds
    All was well
    But only until you injected me with our liquid poison




    Submitted on 2010-11-08 06:14:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like very much the overall feel of what you have here. Drugs poison the spirit and steal from the joy of living. It is great to see you positively express that. You have reached in and given a lot out.
    | Posted on 2010-11-16 00:00:00 | by my shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with Jessa as far as the grammar...it does need just a bit of work, but thats ok, the reader understands what you mean without proper grammar anyways. AND we all screw up with our grammar sometimes. (plus it's your poetry so you can do whatever you want with it, haha. Even make up words)

    I've never been into drugs, (I've been high off of the smoke of marijuana but nothing more besides cigs), and would just like to say I am sure though after the beauty of the bliss of being high was over with, the world just went back to being a living hell? Just a thought that I was just curious about.

    Either way, I find it interesting to read. Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2010-11-15 00:00:00 | by xxiknownowxx | [ Reply to This ]
      I come from a long line of chronic relapse on heroin and know all too well about flying above the clouds. But I'd like to point out that those birds flying next to you were demons in disguise. There is nothing beautiful about the high and the lifted weight you felt was only pushed onto to someone else who loves you.
    Anyway, about the poem...
    Your grammar and spelling need work. example: I awoke... for the first sentence.
    As I kept reading, it started to sound a lot like my stuff from my earlier days, but the last line threw me off. He only hit you once? Does that mean this blissful poem was a one time occurrence, or did you go through the depths of this addiction? I hope it was a one time thing, but those times don't usually happen when you first wake up unless it's your "wake up bag" to get you well. So basically... you lost me on the last line.
    | Posted on 2010-11-14 00:00:00 | by Jessa | [ Reply to This ]
      Started off on a heavy heavy note and ended with a crack in the flight of the seagull.

    I know it would be difficult to handle. However, there will be a day when you will be having a silent smile thinking back of how high I was and be as high with the thought then.

    So think about the smiles to come to ease the pain of now.

    I came back to this site after a long long time. Was extremely pleased to see your comments (again). Therefore, I had to come and drop you a message :)

    I also saw your pic and must say that you are really very pretty. All the best.
    | Posted on 2010-11-10 00:00:00 | by AbsolutelyLost | [ Reply to This ]


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