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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Philosophical Bentdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AbsolutelyLost
    ASL Info:    27/M/India
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 54/41/33
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 712
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 975



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Philosophical Bentdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In times like these, its just bizarre to be attempting to live,
    For its just a fear that keeps constantly pulling every eve.

    Is it worth to fight for the heart?
    Or is it just another matter left to start?
    Will there be a thought never, that comes straight from the heart,
    Without the fear of landing up somewhere ripped apart?

    I am not able to find a link between energy and synergy,
    As there is no rhythm in this anarchy.
    There is no room for free thoughts or eager hearts,
    Its just a misconception full of magical arts.

    The only peace lies within pure tunes,
    Ripped open by numbed up goons.
    It's like in the valley that flows far across,
    Deep within the woods that engross.

    I can't write no more,
    There is no heart that feels,
    There is no gain in this constant pain,
    All there is, is just wish to be a kid again.




    Submitted on 2010-11-10 14:21:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      I don't understand that first line. I mean, how can it be bizarre to be trying to live?

    The second line seems redundant:

    "that keeps constantly"

    but the more I read this poem the more I think that English is just not your first language. If so then I can respect trying to do something in another language.

    All I can say is that your not there yet my friend. There are subtleties upon subtleties to the English language, especially in dealing with poetry.

    Keep trying. This sounds like broken confusing English.


    Fizz
    | Posted on 2010-11-11 00:00:00 | by Mister Fizzle | [ Reply to This ]


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