Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lost in Yesterdaydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Lareth
    ASL Info:    23/M/WA
    Elite Ratio:    5 - 103/139/48
    Words: 344
    Class/Type: Story/Serious
    Total Views: 541
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1808



    Description:
       I was in car accident on June 14th, and since then as the writing says, I cant remember anything. My memory is faint and scarse, but i remember the last few momens of that day, and i re-live those moments... every day.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLost in Yesterdaydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I open my eyes, and see the telephone pole yet again. A child cries in the the distan... no, right behind me? Emily? My little Emily is that you? What have I done? Why cant I remember?

    Over a week has passed, still I see the same nightmare. Still I hear the same wail from my little girl. Why cant I remember... anything? My clock tells me it is thursday. Why does my mind still say monday? What have I lost? What have I to gain?

    Its been a month now today. My mind is still wrought with panic and fear, though my body responds with calm. Am I beginning to heal? Will I have peace from the scream that haunts me? Will I ever be free of this curse? The curse of not being able to forget what I have forgotten?

    It is October, where the time has come and gone I will never know. It was only yesterday... no, merely this morning, that I was driving the highway on a warm summer day. What has happened? Why is it still happening? Oh how I wish I would be tormented by these dreams no longer! Why must I suffer so!?

    November is here. Its been four months now and I can remember nothing beyond the crash. Still I wait. I wait for my lost memory. Still I wait, for the cries to cease.

    I wait still, for my fate to turn. Yet I wait today for another reason. A joyful cause at last to look forward to! Though, it may bring me as much grief as peace. For once my waiting is over, I shall see her again. My daughter is returning yet again to me. And now I will silence the screams that torment me. Because now they will see..."I," will see... that there is nothing to fear.

    My daughter will be here very soon, and for the first time in a very long time... I wait with a purpose.

    ...I wait, with a smile...




    Submitted on 2010-11-10 22:37:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sincerity is something that bleeds out, even if tragically so. The most heart-wrenching writing comes from the reality that we all face, and I'm sorry for what has happened to you, really.

    I like the way you narrated this part of your life because, from a writer's standpoint, there is a good bit of building up from events that aren't clearly defined until later on in the story like was your daughter in the car with you, and is she alright? What happened to her in these last months? Those are questions you didn't explicitly answer, which is a trait of some good writing skill. You respect your readers to that extent.

    I can't imagine how devastating it would be to lose your memory but I understand the pain of something that seems to be missing in your life. Eventually, as I believe you'll realize and at the end of your writing you seem to be hinting, that life will continue, and finding a way to cope with this affliction is how we all move along in one way or another.
    | Posted on 2010-11-11 00:00:00 | by Dolor | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    187756

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The World written by jjd
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry