Retract this needle
And ignore the crimson droplets;
Avert your gaze
And pay me no mind.
Tainted and forgotten
Is the way this should be,
So I'll spread my failures across this floor.
I'll draw them out
Inch by inch,
Until all my fidelities leave me for a pauper.
Is this love?
These suicidal tendencies?
Every time I fear I have wronged you
The blade seems more and more inviting.
But if I could bleed myself
Of these inequeties,
If somehow I could take this knife
And carve you a king,
Would you still love him?
Would you forget that he is only a mask?
But if he satisfied you
I feel I would keep him on
And masquerade as a gentleman of sort,
Just for you.
God, how I wish for perfection;
That holy icon
That even the gods would kill for.
But if Zeus himself
Cannot grasp this phantasm,
What makes me think
I can even comprehend it?
What makes me think
I am worthy of your love?
And if I am not worthy,
What good is mine?
My love is merely an afterthought
In the corners of your mind.
And no matter how many times
You say that I speak falsely,
I still feel that I
Must make myself worthy to you.
So tell me what you want,
I can be it.
Tell me what you need,
I'll retrieve it.
Tell me what to say,
I can pretend it.
But I won 't pretend
That I don't love you,
What else could drive me to do this?
Next to you
I feel so small,
And every downcast eye
Is another nail in my cofffin.
But because of you
Nothing else matters
And I'm willing to do anything
For that rarity,
That dawn of smile.
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