Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Vanishing Pointdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: monad
    ASL Info:    64/M/California
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 1082/406/116
    Words: 194
    Class/Type: Rant/Comedy
    Total Views: 714
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1140



    Description:
       I've invented a cloaking devise


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Vanishing Pointdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The darkened corners of forgotten yesterdays clouded the view as the gaping maw of need stared across the chasm at necessity . Almost as if there was a reason for its contiguous constituency it reflected the myriad animations of its creator . Crystalline forms in infinite diversity beyond the subjective sublimations of mass crowded the integral forms of its subjugated spontaneities perversions as the well of its unity sang of the cause for its being .

    The single-mindedness of its recumbent beginnings were all but lost to the ramifications of itself as the children of its repulsion waxed and waned .

    The twinkling of an eye , the integration of ages , countless extrapolations of its intercourse vanished into the nature of their being as the tainted refuse of their wanton progressions began their mutual processions back to the source , or wandered through the surrealistic ethereum of their eternally predestined nothingness .

    Causalities purity reigned as all became the reason for its own creation , and vanished into the implosions of its own ejaculations .




    Submitted on 2010-11-12 03:13:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i would suggest that a line of plain-speak at the end might add to the levity as well as explain it.

    consider this sketch a two guy act, and i guarantee you the last guy will steal the show.

    i consider myself mildly intelligent.

    reaching for the dictionary because you're inspired to know all you can about a poet's words/work/intent is one thing,

    a person has to be inspired first. (your average person).

    | Posted on 2010-12-07 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      Amazing! This is also how I feel when anyone at all is contemplating a fresh fifth of Jack Daniel's single barrel select.

    But seriously. Language should illuminate, not alienate.

    the gaping maw of need
    single-mindedness
    The twinkling of an eye
    ejaculations

    I'm pretty sure your intent is a more complicated message than that, however, you complicate and disaffect instead of impress. This reader anyways. Don't mean to be harsh just honest.
    Cheers. ~C
    | Posted on 2010-12-07 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]
      This is how I feel when contemplating a fresh fifth of
    Jack Daniel's single barrel select.
    | Posted on 2010-12-03 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this a lot! I especially like the balance here between the very verbose and the easily accessible wording that's readable without a handy reference.
    ;)
    Your theme is well-chosen for you, if I may say so. Your (seemingly) great liking for the high-dollar words lean easily into the technical jargon of science; and the sciences are leaning towards the spiritual as more discoveries are made that point out how little we really understand of the grand cosmos.
    This puts me in mind of black holes; which seemed to be the undoing of matter when first discovered (a vanishing point, if not an event horizon)
    then turning out to be a recycling plant of sorts; actually sorting out matter into new bits and pieces the universe weaves into itself.
    I think a bit of punctuation editing, and maybe some paragraph spacing would make this piece even more accessible to the typical reader.
    But, its lovely as it is.

    Nicely done, Bruce!
    | Posted on 2010-11-13 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      ok ok. now that i've gone and told you to lighten up i feel as if i can begin to understand this. this is funny because in a way it's true. this seems like a spiritual summary of sorts and the now which is more scientific. people try to look back to the beginning, but we never find fact. it's nearly impossible because history is in some way always jaded. it's being written by man, so we decide what needs recorded. it's interesting that now-a-days we record almost everything,(well i'm sure it's still a small percent, but with the internet/satellites etc. we're getting alot more than ever. surely this is second thought to most, but it does change the way things work allot. it's hard to keep this all together. i'm not saying that's a bad thing. your work is always a challenge to read but this one i FELT like i grasped in at least a manner. this could even relate to some of the explorations that go on here. if i take this in a sense that most applies to things I've gone through personally i see ways i can relate. to me this is looking in the past whether it be humanity or individuals. it's hard to take the last line, i get that it's suppose to be humor, but it's a hard stigma to strip and not have it manipulate what i'm gathering from the prior lines. to me this reads like resolve in a strange way. the chaotic way people learn. it's hard to look at the love making-ness and not take it slightly in a cynical manner. as if it's all for the ejaculations at the end. *at least you're an enthusiastic masturbator* but it could be taken a different way. i guess that's the point/what part vanishes. people either go back to the source*on a personal level* or wade in the surreal, when looking back is required. idk. i might be totally off. i like this one. it's like....a gentle dictionary boning. rather then getting thu-soar-assed by a succubus. if i'm off, and you're messing with us/well then the jokes on me. if i'm close then YIPPEE. that's all, thanks for making this reachable, because i don't know if i'm honestly capable of dissecting the longer ones. maybe if it was like a freaking thesis paper. later
    -Ryan
    | Posted on 2010-11-12 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
      All I can say here, is that if you edited out the crazy substitutes for apostrophes, which you could have done after you posted it, then maybe I, as a reader of it could make some sense out of the proliferation of your words.
    | Posted on 2010-11-12 00:00:00 | by edcherry | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    187776

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Starseed written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry