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    dots Submission Name: Hold my Handdots

    Author: Alilia
    ASL Info:    18/F/CA
    Elite Ratio:    1.7 - 28/41/50
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 448
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 586


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHold my Handdots

    To sit under the tree of life
    The fruits dripping with desire and lust
    I try to take a bite but they only bite back
    To sit beside the founting of the shame
    It mocks my inner emotions
    Tries to beat me down
    Its when I feel lost the most
    Down the broken and beaten path
    To the inner demons in my mind
    Roaring, fire-breathing Dragons
    I can't believe they came back once again
    Ready to kill at a moments notice
    They had to come back when Im on my own
    When your not here
    To hold my Hand...

    Submitted on 2010-11-12 11:25:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I'm a fan of long poems. I think if you took the time to develop your idea a lil more, throw some metaphors in there to give a lil imagery and so similes for a lil more substance this poem would be great. Right now it's just a topic, a raw idea to me. I would love to see it a lil more developed.
    | Posted on 2010-11-12 00:00:00 | by keyverse | [ Reply to This ]

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