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    dots Submission Name: Mother's Day Poemdots

    Author: keyverse
    Elite Ratio:    4.97 - 9/6/6
    Words: 568
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 746
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 3618


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    dotsMother's Day Poemdots

    I was born of tears and sorrow
    what an immaculate conception
    born of the pain that personified my mother's soul
    unwilling to bring me in this world because she could not play her role
    through sorrow i've learned the lessons,
    of how i came to be
    growing with a warped perception of my mother's love for me
    but how could i know
    that she sold her soul to the devil and that i was the toll
    I've grown to understand now,
    i just have one question
    for my lord and sovereign god through whom all things were possible
    were there on the day when my mothers soul was robbed
    of that which she'd held in the vestibule of her womb
    did she not have for me the love that Mary had had for you
    Mary lost you to non believers
    My mother loss me to a mob of circumstances
    Mommy's gone now
    And in my heart are rose bush's and fields of wild flowers
    the scent of daffodils fill the air like her perfume on Sunday mornings
    Guess you can call my memory her my garden of eden
    never can i return to that place of security
    Yet the feeling got me feeling as warm
    as sliding into my Sundays best freshly ironed
    and as secure as those cold days that ended in your loving arms
    to this day
    I dress to the nines on Sunday mornings but go
    Church doesn't have the same appeal when i know you're not there
    and home...
    Well, home is an unknown to me
    I've rebuked the idea of calling anywhere home that doesn't house you
    so i roam these streets like cows do
    waiting for that dinner bell that i know will never come
    Don't remember how a warm bed feels with you right up the hall
    don't know how homely a phone ringing is when i know it's you who's goin to call...
    i don't remember
    And although i'm forgetful
    I'll never forget you
    cuz you've left such a residue of love in my heart
    reminiscing is part spiritual and....
    mostly religion, so I'm...
    Mostly living to see you again...right
    Never got the chance to say good bye
    Or that i forgive you
    It would be nice if these images i've described were actually in my mental rear-view
    But they ain't
    Only memories of a woman who wasn't quite strong enough to defeat her demons
    the only memories i have of you are memories of you leaving...
    My life.
    And memories of crying every night wishing you'd come home
    Come home to the arms of a lil boy who needed your loves
    Cuz, all those images would have been nice
    but your love would have been enough
    But somehow
    That lil boy has grown into quite the young man
    Grown old enough to finally understand that your death
    Wasn't you finally being rid of him...
    It was god finally allowing you to be at peace
    So for the past few years
    I've written my "I'm sorry's" and "i love you's" in tears
    in hopes that when they dissipate they'll make it up to your ears
    And i plant these seeds of how our lives could've been
    and i,
    Sew these images of how our lives should've been
    As rosebushes,
    And fields of wild flowers...so when you look down from heaven
    You see them
    Happy Mother's Day Mom

    Submitted on 2010-11-12 14:42:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I'm not sure why a piece as moving as this has only received one comment, I really don't. But hey, that's ES for you nowadays, and I'm certainly not helping with my usually enforced (bar this comment) lack of wanting to comment.

    I nearly lost my mother to a car accident when I was 13... she ended up in a coma for I don't know how long... brain damaged and had to recuperate for at least a year or so at the closest spinal rehab clinic. So, while I know that my near-loss could never compare to yours, just know that I was without a mother in my formative teenage years, and know something of what this may feel like. And I think something like this makes one grow up all too quickly, jaded and afraid, yet stronger and wiser all the same for it.

    Quick nits to use or not as you please:
    "Guess you can call my memory (of) her my garden of eden
    (never can i) return to that place of security"

    Think you missed "of" in the first line here.
    And in the second line, your inverted syntax doesn't work as all of your other lines in general are informal, relaxed. Syntax like this generally belongs in long outdated, classically-inspired poems. And even then, I still kinda wrinkle my nose at this sort of affectation. A simple "I can never" works just as well. But again, just my thoughts on the matter, nothing more.

    A truly heartfelt poem. And one with your own idiosyncratic touches, imagery, experiences, etc, that paints a full and tragically real picture.

    | Posted on 2010-11-22 00:00:00 | by trinityfinger | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like this.i liked the words you used and the feelings you made me feel as i read it, very emotional and touching. i actually started 2 cry a bit ha, that dosnt happen often.deep poem man, im sorry 4 your loss.i could almost smell the perfume you described, and feel the warmth of your love 4 her...i enjoyed reading it thoroughly.thank you.

    | Posted on 2010-11-12 00:00:00 | by Midnight_Toker | [ Reply to This ]

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