Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bittered Piecesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: stefhy
    ASL Info:    21/f/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 165/83/37
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 516
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 861



    Description:
       Just had to whip something up really, found so many great old pieces that I wrote in my notebook and forgot about....
    None of them finished, but I like some of them a lot.... I wanted to use it.

    ... I don't think it did it justice.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBittered Piecesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You'd love me most if I were small
    Broken in your fist, I crawl
    A crumbled mess inside your palm
    Where every step I take I fall

    Instead, I lay inside your eyes
    Just the fool of all your lies
    Slave of all that makes me cry
    Not the wreck you want this time.


    A voices crack is heard too loud
    During hushes in the crowd
    Even when no one's around
    All your love is far too proud

    Still we walk inside the moon
    We're waiting for the night, too soon
    I can't resist your heartbreaks tune
    Under your blade, I dare to swoon.


    I laced my fingers into yours,
    And sewed your name into my core
    Followed your footsteps on the floor
    until I saw them all, no more.





    Submitted on 2010-11-14 03:02:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this was quite interesting. very good job putting everything into place. keep it up. glad to see another post from you.
    -aaron
    | Posted on 2010-11-27 00:00:00 | by Thief | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this write. i'm speechless

    Buster
    | Posted on 2010-11-24 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    187855

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    The World written by jjd
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry