Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bittered Piecesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: stefhy
    ASL Info:    21/f/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 165/83/37
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 582
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 861



    Description:
       Just had to whip something up really, found so many great old pieces that I wrote in my notebook and forgot about....
    None of them finished, but I like some of them a lot.... I wanted to use it.

    ... I don't think it did it justice.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBittered Piecesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You'd love me most if I were small
    Broken in your fist, I crawl
    A crumbled mess inside your palm
    Where every step I take I fall

    Instead, I lay inside your eyes
    Just the fool of all your lies
    Slave of all that makes me cry
    Not the wreck you want this time.


    A voices crack is heard too loud
    During hushes in the crowd
    Even when no one's around
    All your love is far too proud

    Still we walk inside the moon
    We're waiting for the night, too soon
    I can't resist your heartbreaks tune
    Under your blade, I dare to swoon.


    I laced my fingers into yours,
    And sewed your name into my core
    Followed your footsteps on the floor
    until I saw them all, no more.





    Submitted on 2010-11-14 03:02:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this was quite interesting. very good job putting everything into place. keep it up. glad to see another post from you.
    -aaron
    | Posted on 2010-11-27 00:00:00 | by Thief | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this write. i'm speechless

    Buster
    | Posted on 2010-11-24 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    187855

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Giving written by jjd
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    This written by Chelebel
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Bond written by saartha
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    In the end written by Janesaddiction

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry