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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Comfy Sunday shirtsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 215
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 559
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1378



    Description:
       2200 miles separate us...maybe it's enough to drive us apart...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsComfy Sunday shirtsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Too many lines, words, syllables
    None say or mean or do what is you:
    Grey/blue eyes with dimpled cheeks-
    Was that just you?

    My words remain hollow,
    Our miracle jar lying empty
    underneath our bed.
    The frame is breaking.

    Sy-lla-bles
    Sy-
    Lla--
    Bles

    The ghost of your fingertips and the
    shadow of your pelvis
    are playing with the corners of the walls
    .the floor wants to join in.

    Chills and tears and breathes and
    And inhale
    And exhale
    And inhale
    And exhale.

    Can you break hearts, heartbreaker?
    Can you tape them up, use super glue?
    Can super glue mend hearts, heartmender?
    Can they be shattered as easily as mended?

    Your side is cold, and the sky
    Scolds, I told you so
    They told you to tell me to tell them that you told me-
    Can hearts be mended as easily as shattered?

    Blond hair, messy bangs.
    I never minded your cleft
    It was you-
    Was that just you?

    Your slight smile, crooked angles
    Your soothing bite and your fickle lookover
    Comfy Sunday shirts and piggy glances-
    Too many lines, words, syllables, that aren’t you.






    Submitted on 2010-11-14 17:20:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      once again ur at it...sigh...this is beautiful. i like how it is not spoon fed. it is quite intriguing....

    "The frame is breaking .

    Sy- lla- bles
    Sy-
    Lla- -
    Bles"

    from my limited understanding these r directly connected yes? the frame is picturing sumthing...but i cant exactly fig out...mayb im thinkin too much

    "Blond hair , messy bangs .
    I never minded your cleft

    It was you-
    Was that just you ?"

    "Your slight smile, crooked angles
    Your soothing bite and your fickle lookover
    Comfy Sunday shirts and piggy glances-
    Too many lines , words, syllables , that aren' t you ."

    ive come to the conclusion that u r trying to basically say that everything you can say to tangibly describe this person fall short. and that u miss them and your thoughts and words to decribe them simply arent enough. thus correctly statin that u arent in love with the thought of bein with them. u r purely- unadulterately in love

    im so wrapped in this one...
    | Posted on 2010-12-08 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      At first I found this to be scattered and confusing a bit... but when i take a step back... so is art. if you have to spell it out, you've made a children's book. So in that retrospect I applaud you. Not to mention it comes together quite casually at the end... which I liked. I guess what i'm trying to say is you took the point of poetry and made it original. Not many people get that anymore. It's fun to write something that means different to different people.
    | Posted on 2010-11-14 00:00:00 | by Jessa | [ Reply to This ]
      At first I found this to be scattered and confusing a bit... but when i take a step back... so is art. if you have to spell it out, you've made a children's book. So in that retrospect I applaud you. Not to mention it comes together quite casually at the end... which I liked. I guess what i'm trying to say is you took the point of poetry and made it original. Not many people get that anymore. It's fun to write something that means different to different people.
    | Posted on 2010-11-14 00:00:00 | by Jessa | [ Reply to This ]


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