Comfy Sunday shirts by TheStillSilence

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Submission Name: Comfy Sunday shirts dots

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Author:	TheStillSilence
ASL Info:	20/F/Out in Outer Space
Elite Ratio:	5.1 - 180/107/54
Words:	215

Class/Type:	Poetry/Longing
Total Views:	655
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1378

Description:
2200 miles separate us...maybe it's enough to drive us apart...

Comfy Sunday shirts dots

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Too many lines, words, syllables
None say or mean or do what is you:
Grey/blue eyes with dimpled cheeks-
Was that just you?

My words remain hollow,
Our miracle jar lying empty
underneath our bed.
The frame is breaking.

Sy-lla-bles
Sy-
Lla--
Bles

The ghost of your fingertips and the
shadow of your pelvis
are playing with the corners of the walls
.the floor wants to join in.

Chills and tears and breathes and
And inhale
And exhale
And inhale
And exhale.

Can you break hearts, heartbreaker?
Can you tape them up, use super glue?
Can super glue mend hearts, heartmender?
Can they be shattered as easily as mended?

Your side is cold, and the sky
Scolds, I told you so
They told you to tell me to tell them that you told me-
Can hearts be mended as easily as shattered?

Blond hair, messy bangs.
I never minded your cleft
It was you-
Was that just you?

Your slight smile, crooked angles
Your soothing bite and your fickle lookover
Comfy Sunday shirts and piggy glances-
Too many lines, words, syllables, that aren’t you.

Submitted on 2010-11-14 17:20:28 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
  once again ur at it...sigh...this is beautiful. i like how it is not spoon fed. it is quite intriguing....

"The frame is breaking .

Sy- lla- bles
Sy-
Lla- -
Bles"

from my limited understanding these r directly connected yes? the frame is picturing sumthing...but i cant exactly fig out...mayb im thinkin too much

"Blond hair , messy bangs .
I never minded your cleft

It was you-
Was that just you ?"

"Your slight smile, crooked angles
Your soothing bite and your fickle lookover
Comfy Sunday shirts and piggy glances-
Too many lines , words, syllables , that aren' t you ."

ive come to the conclusion that u r trying to basically say that everything you can say to tangibly describe this person fall short. and that u miss them and your thoughts and words to decribe them simply arent enough. thus correctly statin that u arent in love with the thought of bein with them. u r purely- unadulterately in love

im so wrapped in this one...
| Posted on 2010-12-08 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]
  At first I found this to be scattered and confusing a bit... but when i take a step back... so is art. if you have to spell it out, you've made a children's book. So in that retrospect I applaud you. Not to mention it comes together quite casually at the end... which I liked. I guess what i'm trying to say is you took the point of poetry and made it original. Not many people get that anymore. It's fun to write something that means different to different people.
| Posted on 2010-11-14 00:00:00 | by Jessa | [ Reply to This ]
  At first I found this to be scattered and confusing a bit... but when i take a step back... so is art. if you have to spell it out, you've made a children's book. So in that retrospect I applaud you. Not to mention it comes together quite casually at the end... which I liked. I guess what i'm trying to say is you took the point of poetry and made it original. Not many people get that anymore. It's fun to write something that means different to different people.
| Posted on 2010-11-14 00:00:00 | by Jessa | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.