[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Our Dance.dots

    Author: xxiknownowxx
    ASL Info:    16/F/GA
    Elite Ratio:    4.8 - 128/41/40
    Words: 177
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 728
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1034

       I guess most of my writing is hard for others to understand unless I explain it to you, but I swear it's not a bunch of nonsense put together so I can say I wrote a poem. Lol. Everything I write means something thats been going on with me. It's almost a form of journaling. My heart is written out in all my recent poems. And I guess thats what matters to me. Tell me what you think nonetheless. I want honesty though. If you hate it, tell me, and I would love to know why, that way maybe I can learn to construct my poems better for the reader and my pleasure. :) And if you like it, also tell me. :)

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOur Dance.dots

    I raged. Maddening to my own view of your misconceptions,
    That I placed in a box so tightly bound, only to find it’s holes
    Had caved in from a wet, dew of moisture. Destroying all
    Evidence of what I had hoped to make it not out as it
    Came across. But your words pricked me like a needle
    Making it hard for me to fasten my own disbelief in what I was saying.
    Taking step backwards I could have seen your laughter..
    Wasn’t really yours at all.

    We danced. And we danced a wicked dance filled with
    Our answers pressing back against each other. A horrible friction now
    Unbalanced to be placed upon the fire.
    But where is His fire?
    A word was given that released such aggression that I almost believed it would
    Submit this peace so long sought out for.
    A lie preceded by a lie conceived a lie.
    I beg of him to tell me that the truth came behind the answer.
    Your knuckles were the ones rapping on that splintered doo

    Submitted on 2010-11-15 14:54:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I loved this. Your voice is strong here. And the line "A lie preceded by a lie conceived a lie" Makes me think of someone that was very important to me. For some reason a lot of your posts have weird symbols where the apostrophe would be.... Was that intentional? Thanks JohnOhh
    | Posted on 2010-11-16 00:00:00 | by bigohhh1 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]