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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Turtles.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: xxiknownowxx
    ASL Info:    16/F/GA
    Elite Ratio:    4.8 - 128/41/40
    Words: 96
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 409
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 687



    Description:
       Be honest.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Turtles.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    We traveled a blind world. Our fingers
    Sticking underneath their armpits. An
    Uncomfortable gesture for a stranger.
    But we promised we’d return.

    These glass houses, I’m beginning to believe,
    Are made from stone. Your barrier, an ungreased
    Pan. Masking burns beneath the skin.
    Continually scratch the wool against your skin,
    But the gloves are still not stitched.

    We put a candle beneath our silences.
    An escalading fire, torching the tablecloth
    And our chances reduced to ashes. You’re a…
    Forget this. Half our whispers
    Inform us these shells will be broken soon.




    Submitted on 2010-11-15 15:18:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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