Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: a piece of grassdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: scardnscared
    ASL Info:    25/ DFW
    Elite Ratio:    3.1 - 585/498/311
    Words: 197
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 368
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1215



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa piece of grassdots
    -------------------------------------------


    she was sitting on the side of the road
    twirling a piece of grass in her hand
    she kept looking down the road
    her mind was already years away
    her body was stuck in this suburban life
    she liked to whine
    about how mommy and daddy
    always kept her up at night
    she would complain about the screaming
    saying i remember when
    but then forget what she was saying
    the emotions she held inside
    slowly started toeat at her i guess
    cause one day she wasn't sitting on the side of the road
    the grass was untouched
    the stones were unturned
    and her parents couldn't care
    cause she was always a problem anyways
    a wasted youth
    a rebel with only thoughts
    she ran away
    to the places she dreamt of
    to the places she had heard of
    and life was never the same
    in the land of candy neon lights
    she lost her innocence
    and almost her life
    but i guess she paid the price
    to young to care
    to old to change
    and she dreams of the days
    were she sat on the side of the road
    and twirled a piece of grass in her hands




    Submitted on 2010-11-15 15:59:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      There is much spirit and soul in this, and much between the lines. One emphasizes with the youth beside the road, and wants better for her; then wonders what became of her.

    | Posted on 2010-11-29 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      to young to care
    to old to change
    and she dreams of the days
    were she sat on the side of the road
    and twirled a piece of grass in her hands

    True thought, seems we all wish we could go back to our childhood summers- before we were grew up and learned just a little to much, a little to soon.
    Good write!
    | Posted on 2010-11-18 00:00:00 | by Joybell | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this, there are few spelling mistakes. But they are easy to overlook. It was easy to understand where you were and how you felt. :) John
    | Posted on 2010-11-16 00:00:00 | by bigohhh1 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    187875

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    The World written by jjd
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry