Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Homedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: col13x
    Elite Ratio:    2.26 - 119/300/559
    Words: 378
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 417
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2402



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHomedots
    -------------------------------------------




    I have been trapped here on this planet for 52 years
    And my feelings of isolation and loneliness have persisted
    From the earliest of my memories

    When I look up at the night sky and see the stars
    A desperate aching, longing and yearning
    Fills me
    Tears well up from my eyes
    And my heart beats feeling as if it is expanding
    And I am filled
    Filled to the brim
    But I am trapped here
    And all I want to do
    Is go home

    Home

    I remember things I can’t explain
    I know things I don’t understand
    And I am trapped here
    On this prison

    I know, I feel, I had a purpose
    A mission
    But I don’t remember
    And I search and search for the trigger
    Which will unlock my mind

    I am worn and tired of this life
    And more and more my thoughts are turned
    To home

    Home

    Though the beauty of this planet astounds me
    Still it is small
    Intricate
    To the sweeping dusted stars of the Universe
    Where I belong
    Among them
    My play ground

    I long, I ache, I want, to go home

    Home



    I have been here too long
    I have been dragged and drugged
    Confused and bemused, bedazzled and abused
    For far too long
    And this tiny thread still an unbreakable chain
    Hangs me in there

    Home

    I am waiting
    Waiting for something
    I know that this person I have become
    Will change
    Something sleeping inside me
    Is awakening
    And I long for him to open his eyes

    But I must wait, be patient
    Now is not the time
    But it is an agony
    A mind numbing, soul destroying indenture
    That I somehow embarked upon

    To be here
    When the time comes

    When I look up at the night sky and see the stars
    A desperate aching, longing and yearning
    Fills me
    Tears well up from my eyes
    And my heart beats feeling as if it is expanding
    And I am filled
    Filled to the brim
    But I am trapped here
    And all I want to do
    Is go home

    Home

    I want to go home




    Submitted on 2010-11-19 10:38:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i liked this alot you had me feelings what you felt. you expressed yourself using all the right words i enjoy when the reader can do this make feel what they feel see what they see.
    however i do think this is a big long i'm sure a few of the times you repeated yourself you can edit out but this is my opinon i perferr shorter posts but you had me stuck on this until i was finished reading it

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2010-11-20 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    187933

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Love written by saartha
    Shi written by ShyOne
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Cover written by saartha
    Carry written by saartha
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Records I written by Raphael
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    prison written by ShyOne
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry