Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Robot


Author: MysterydarkPoet
ASL Info:    20/f/Aust
Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 157 /295 /173
Words: 62
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1089
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 405



Description:




Robot



if i could give you my heart,
i'd seal it in a jar
with all its beauty & spark,
& send it to where you are

hand carried by a robot i'd build
to walk every inch of every mile
to transport my love to you from me
Marked 'fragile' & with a note that reads:
"please love unconditionally."





Submitted on 2010-11-24 02:35:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I really enjoyed the last two lines and the beginning. Robots is a good metaphor for such a beautiful exchange a cold steel pre-programmed machine is very contradicting and i think kinda unique for such a wondrous gift as a warm and ever radiant heart. Very nice writing will look forward to more work from you. i also enjoy the shortness. some of my work gets long but not too long in this busy lift people now lead.
| Posted on 2010-11-27 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



187968