Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sweetheartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ParanoidParadox
    ASL Info:    22/m/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.31 - 89/92/41
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 367
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 624



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSweetheartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sweetheart please just come to bed
    Your eyes are bloodshot and red
    The monsters inside your head
    Are delusions that you've fed

    Please darling unlock this door
    We've been through this before
    A gaze lost miles away from shore
    Gibbering patterns on the floor

    Honey I can hear your screams
    Haunted by demonic dreams
    I wish I knew what it means
    But nothing is as it seems

    Put the knife down sweety pie
    You do not need to take my life
    Take a look into my eyes
    Why does this end in my demise?




    Submitted on 2010-11-24 19:32:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      well i didnt think your poem was going to end like that! i really thought it was going to end with the person dying, not you almost getting killed. i really like this, because the name of it makes you think its going to be a sweet poem and its far from it! im going to have to go and read some more of your stuff now :)
    | Posted on 2010-11-29 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    187998

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Love written by saartha
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Every..... written by jackz
    Cover written by saartha
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Push written by JanePlane
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    What happens written by Wolfwatching

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry