[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Why do the planets tap dance?dots

    Author: Theophilus
    Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 116/174/95
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 509
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 672

       watch How awesome is our God, by louie giglio. it explains the title.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhy do the planets tap dance?dots

    Right now I dont feel incredible.
    I dont feel like a comet streaking
    Across the sky, or like long walks
    At three am, or like the ocean.
    I dont feel like pretty dresses
    And sunsets and laughter.

    I dont feel much of anything,
    Even though im standing outside
    And its winter, and its cold.
    I can feel the wind burning my skin.
    But I dont move towards warmth.

    I stand here. Shivering. Silent.
    Not crying. Just staring into the sky.
    Knowing that God is listening
    To my silence, and I gaze back
    Into His quiet eyes and wonder. . .
    Just wonder. . .

    Submitted on 2010-11-25 19:17:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      initially the just (and i'm hesitant to say this in case a bolt of...) wonder at the close seemed a bit flat.

    but poetry's about where words are placed, isn't it (yes).

    so i like that this girl outside is seeming all no not not not, but it's about wonder, yes? it appears no, it appears as if she's questioning the possibility that perhaps, yes, god does exist, lastly, it's all these things and that, primarily, she is a god creature and in her lies the wonder.

    when looking at it that way, i just love this understated and cleverly stated poem, and i'm not even a god person. you'll shoot back that every body is a god- person (meaning that god blessed each of us) and i'll be ok with that.

    i want to date this. it's a good looking poem.
    | Posted on 2011-03-12 00:00:00 | by theludus | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes, those contractions are a curse, but you can edit them out after posting. Try that!
    I like what you are saying here, that stillness and feeling of God's presence. I must say I have never stood outside freezing to feel it though, -- guess I am a sook! That feeling comes over me often without warning during a daydreamy moment. Good work here. Ted.
    | Posted on 2010-11-25 00:00:00 | by edcherry | [ Reply to This ]
      Captures a certain feeling well but the contractions I guess messed up some words. I don't know why they do that.

    Knowing that God is listening
    To my silence

    I really like that line. That's how I feel a lot.
    | Posted on 2010-11-25 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Carry written by saartha
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Dream written by closetpoet
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Love written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Shi written by ShyOne
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Records I written by Raphael




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]