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    dots Submission Name: Scattering Scat dots

    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 518
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 512
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 3083


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsScattering Scat dots

    Playing plunk it in the old junkyard
    Popping rats is kind of hard
    But not as hard as hitting bats
    Them old bats can really scat

    Its real cool when Bucky comes
    He lets us use his big chain gun
    Then it's easy to whack them bats
    And turn them into bloody scat

    The other day John came home
    He made some napalm out of foam
    Everybody brought there guns
    This would be a lot of fun

    We had the junkyard burning bright
    Rats was in a panicked flight
    They trailed streamers of smoke'n fire
    Squealing like screeching tires

    One eyed Jimmy and Cross top Don
    Brought some home made bombs along
    We blew cars into outer space
    And left smoking craters in there place

    Crazy Ed and retard Willy
    They came up with a real dilly
    They brought a Truck of home made nitrate
    And set it off at half past eight

    It blew out windows a mile away
    And they say we all died that day
    But we're safe in heaven don't you know
    There wasn't anywhere else for us to go

    Well its true we were down below
    But one toed Joe made some nitro
    And Gimpy Sam had a plan
    This is something how it ran

    Old Satan had us shoveling shit
    Upon the heads of poetic wits
    Most of us didn't give it much mind
    After all it was a way to pass the time

    And one toed Joe had to somehow acquire
    All of the ingredients he required
    He said if he mixed nitro with charcoal
    It would be like having dynamite so

    Joe needed to keep the nitro cool
    And besides none of us was fools
    Now the tattooed man from Dallas
    He Drove the ice truck for the palace

    Satan was having a big demon orgy party
    To celebrate the birth of dog boy Marty
    And we where called upon to beautify
    The courtyard where the virgins would all die

    So we had made our plans to do the deed
    And placed our bombs while planting weeds
    One minor thing we had failed to count upon
    Was all the methane in the old shit ponds

    And I suppose it would not be wrong to say
    We blew the shit out of hell that day
    I mean there was shit just a flying
    And demons covered in shit crying

    And we rode this giant wave of shit
    All the way to where Saint Peter sits
    He looked at us as he was holding his nose
    And said if you want in just change your clothes

    Gods been wondering how to settle Satan's shit
    And he's damn grateful you've managed it
    So come on in and join the fun
    Where all playing bingo at half past one

    Well we all look over at Joe and he just smiled

    Submitted on 2010-11-27 08:07:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
    "You'll have to change your clothes..."

    You're scat-tered and hill-airious...
    | Posted on 2010-12-20 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      This is positively hysterical . Seriously , the funniest poem I've read so far on ES . The poetic technicalities were lacking in here and thereness but I was laughing too hard to care . I guess I had better go wash my hair , I seem to have some bat guano in it .

    | Posted on 2010-11-27 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
      My absolute favorite line of a Dale P classic:

    "Crazy Ed and retard Willy
    They came up with a real dilly"

    Now that even made the demons smile...
    | Posted on 2010-11-27 00:00:00 | by Just Kel | [ Reply to This ]

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