Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Great Consequencedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HisNameIsNoMore
    ASL Info:    28 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    2.98 - 75/191/246
    Words: 183
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 722
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1082



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Great Consequencedots
    -------------------------------------------


    We walk around it-
    - Don't dare speak a word about it...
    Confront those cornered roaches-
    - Dysentery; septic screams.
    Just a guttural response to the absent bottom line-
    - Another situation just slipping out of hand.
    Rhetoric please? Elaborate just a bit more until we differentiate.
    Defecating beneath the choking boot--- A throat to break every which way.
    - Oh but we see, nothing can be solved with out liquid-
    -Black --- Red-

    Again-
    Survival of malevolent spiders - Fly fly flies...
    - Their fangs puncture so deep; we love the in reach hopped up top shelf good toxic.
    ventriloquist; a contortionist; a sadist and masochist; stuffed ballot boxes-
    Yet we see eight different ways they are one in the same.
    -But we fail to see that it will be the death of you- me!
    Squirm and shove up out of it-
    -Oh please God don't you dare cry.
    --Only fair, you walked around it
    The one consequence-






    Submitted on 2010-11-27 18:12:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the feel of this... your word choices - the 3&4 syllable words speed up the read… and then it slows down only to pick up again, keeping a nice rhythm.
    Love the metaphors of pesky insects to life’s irritations. Well done ending with a quick chat to God… clever, witty… nice.
    | Posted on 2010-11-28 00:00:00 | by Just Kel | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    188032

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Buried written by MyPeriodical
    April 1, 2018 written by homeless
    Chapter written by Crestfallenman
    Forget written by Crestfallenman
    Collision written by rev.jpfadeproof
    trish trillion written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled - September 19, 2017 written by homeless
    your truest people written by Daniel Barlow
    Chèvrefeuille written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Reveled Night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sadistic lust written by jjd
    burning confusion written by cornonthekob
    Outside the Chain written by Wolfwatching
    Blank Page written by Chelebel
    X written by homeless
    Tidal written by OneDarkFlame92
    Wisp of You written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Untitled - 8/2017 written by homeless
    Jar (working title) written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Would You... written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Moon and Me written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Forgotten Umbrella written by garnet4david
    'Cause You're Mine, I Walk the Line. written by Torie
    Summer of Peaches written by rev.jpfadeproof
    No More Damn Love Poems written by rev.jpfadeproof
    coping mechanism written by cornonthekob
    Untitled: June 24, 2018 written by homeless
    Blinded by Sight written by Torie
    BlackBerry Bushes written by Daniel Barlow
    The Phoenetians and Us written by Torie

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry