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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Loving Flamedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Di Re Rakord
    Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 130/125/30
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 486
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 578



    Description:
       This is about the way i love. It seems to happen every time, and is more often than not my fault. Love seems retarded to me at times lol


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLoving Flamedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Pain and malice rule my mind,
    if only there was some light to find!
    Something to brighten my dreary day,
    someone to hold me and with whom i could lay.
    I see all and nothing-it all seems sureal,
    It burns hot and freezing-my soul cant seem to seal.
    My hightened sense of emotion has run me awry,
    My heart is worn down and waiting to die. Where is my light? My emblazing star shining bright?
    My flame my fire my old new and future desire?
    It lies in a stack of burning and cracks, like a body on a funeral pyre.




    Submitted on 2010-12-01 00:05:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like this line, "Where is my light? My emblazing star shining bright?" The thing about love is; it can bring you to the heights of heaven or the depths of hell. On the last line, I would stick to the subject mater of fire, since the title is relating to fire burning and so is the poem

    Love and Peace,
    Christie
    | Posted on 2010-12-01 00:00:00 | by lynn7 | [ Reply to This ]
      (ending line redo) It lies in a stack of burning and cracks like a body on a funeral pyre. (tell me which is better)
    | Posted on 2010-12-01 00:00:00 | by Di Re Rakord | [ Reply to This ]
      well if this is about an ex or someone you used to love it seems like they've left you and your having a hard time getting over it. i really didnt see that ending coming, so goodwrite!
    | Posted on 2010-12-01 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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