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    dots Submission Name: Irregardless is a Life Styledots

    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 233
    Class/Type: Prose/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 446
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1314


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    dotsIrregardless is a Life Styledots

    Irregardless an't a word it's a Life Style

    We huddled like war urchins waiting for the all clear. The heat of the day stopped burning us alive and began to smother us under a mad barber's steaming shaving towels. Outside the sky ripped off its jewels, flinging them in a chaotic cannonade of napalm infused glory. Then it hid behind a roiling black mass of smoking evil.

    The wind screamed its defiance flailing the already tormented earth with everything it could rip, pluck or tear out from its roots. Cows became meat missiles launched at mobile homes. Mobile homes became shrapnel adding insult to anything left standing.

    Then God flushed the toilet. Ten minutes into the rain, Noah could have sailed down Main Street. Later we found a Hawaiian surfer on Bob's Knoll with half the skin flayed off his body, all of his bones broken, his leg tethered to his board, and still he had a smile on his lips. It rained so much fish drowned and alligators went on vacation to Minnesota. There was talk about hiring a lawyer to sue God for breach of the rainbow contract.

    After it was over, we rebuilt of course. Rednecks are like that and the word would not be the same without some of us living on the flood plains.

    Submitted on 2010-12-01 03:22:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I can only think of one thing to say. It sounds more like the toilet overflowed.

    I think the title fits very well.
    | Posted on 2010-12-06 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]
      You may find this funny but I once had a dream about pay toilets . I walked up , handed my root clod to god , the door opened and I went in and set down and started to read the graffiti . "Em all" said one , and "maelstrom chronicles" another , and "will this all come up again tomorrow" . This last was written on the handle which when depressed revealed another little sign which said "No!" . Thank you God I said as I left the stall . Your welcome buckwheat he replied .
    I guess I must be another redneck living on the flood plain . Maybe I should take a vacation to Minnesota .
    | Posted on 2010-12-01 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]

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