[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Somewhere on the Highwaydots

    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 438
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Longing
    Total Views: 392
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2618


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSomewhere on the Highwaydots

    Somewhere in a truck-stop sipping coffee
    sits an old lonely tucker feeling low.
    He is thinking every mile that he travels
    only takes, him further from his goal.

    He has gone and left a good woman pining,
    but then he has done that many times before.
    Of course, he knows she really loves him
    and she is always waiting by the door.

    But that old harlot of a semi has
    done gone and stole his soul.
    It is the white line that binds
    and it will never let him go.

    So every road that he goes down
    leads to another nowhere town.
    And every dream he has ever had
    lies broken or drove him mad.

    And he just keeps a Rollin on,
    a drifting with the flow.
    Because it seems to him like nowhere,
    might be the perfect place to go.

    Then one day when he was out of luck,
    kicking the tire of his broke down truck.
    He cussed the world and its rainy sky.
    He turned 'round and looked into the eyes,

    of a fallen angel. All he saw was flaming hair
    that cast a spell upon him then and there.
    She wiggled a finger and with a wink
    said "stranger, I bet you could use a drink."

    With a saucy sashay she led him astray
    saying, "I think you know the game I play?
    And of course, there will be a price to pay.
    But trust me you will never forget today."

    That is when our nowhere man looked
    down upon his callused working hands.
    He was looking at a golden wedding band.
    He did not know what it was that took

    over him but he gave that ring a fling.
    Then entered a fallen angel's dreams,
    where hazy days and sultry nights seem
    to melt into sighs and lover's bites.

    He no longer cared if it was wrong or right
    just played the game with all his might.
    Passions grew and the flames where bright,
    until the devil stepped up into the light.

    "Don't worry lover it's going to be alright
    it has always been me I am your delight.
    You know I have always been true to you
    I have done all I said I would ever do."

    He looked into her sparkling eyes
    realized right then he must have died.
    He was not going to climb heaven's stairs,
    but knew he would be just as happy where-

    ever, his fallen angel made her cozy lover's lair

    Submitted on 2010-12-05 03:30:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "Because it seems to him like nowhere
    might be perfect place to go"

    I keep thinking if I were behind those wheels, would I do the same thing?
    Now, I wish I could drive and go somewhere far. There's a sort of a hook in here, like I know where you're going but not quite sure how you will take me there.
    The best parts where in the middle stanzas. The ending was not as powerful as I would have imagined it to be. This is a good story, I can sense passion, regret and wanting.

    ..like looking through the eyes of a man behind those wheels on an open highway.

    I love this

    | Posted on 2012-09-25 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]
      I can hear this set to music as a long drawling country-western song. Kind of a predictable tale though don't you think?

    But that old harlot of a semi has
    done gone and stole his soul.
    It is the white line that binds
    and it will never let him go.

    so who stole his heart, there's some confusion here, was it the semi or the fallen angel? What if he was kicking the tires of his broken old truck and a newer flashier one caught his eye, and he goes from truck to truck, forever seduced by newer and newer models.

    I think the above verse would make an ideal ending instead of stuck in the middle like that as soon as you clarify who has really stolen his soul.

    You have some good slant rhymes but your rhyme scheme is not consistent.


    | Posted on 2010-12-05 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Linger written by saartha
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Push written by JanePlane
    Bond written by saartha
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Fasade written by jackz
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Every..... written by jackz
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]