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    dots Submission Name: Never Sleepsdots

    Author: in shadow
    ASL Info:    22/F/ nightmares
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 581/277/103
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 431
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 864

       a pantoum

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNever Sleepsdots

    We did lines of coke off broken mirrors.
    Do you remember long nights in New York?
    Like childhood filmstrips played backwards
    Staring at worn down shoes, with the laces undone

    Do you remember long nights in New York?
    I was hiding behind my sundress and stitches
    Staring at worn down shoes, with the laces undone
    We were super stars we were shooting stars ...

    I was hiding behind my sundress and stitches
    My finger turning green under the ring you gave me
    We were super stars we were shooting stars ...
    The glitter was bone deep

    We ran from the cops like 20's gangsters,
    like childhood filmstrips played backwards
    Hiding in the bathrooms of bars with no names,
    we did lines of coke off broken mirrors.

    Submitted on 2010-12-10 07:36:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      'we did lines of coke off broken mirrors' best line!
    | Posted on 2010-12-22 00:00:00 | by Apteryx | [ Reply to This ]
      you actually used the same core lines. believe this woulda been a better piece if there was more meat to int to sync up to the repitition. very solid. u played on these same phrases and each of them came back up like flash backs. clever and daring...(*dr. evil pinky thing*)
    | Posted on 2010-12-14 00:00:00 | by AeThe Lost Poet | [ Reply to This ]

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