Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: vengeancedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: in shadow
    ASL Info:    22/F/ nightmares
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 581/277/103
    Words: 196
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 371
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1061



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsvengeancedots
    -------------------------------------------


    There is a promise made in such sweat, contracts signed with arched backs and writhing forms.
          the skyline was on fire      
    The city was twisting upward, grasping at the stars.
    You held my hand as we watched the night devour everything,
    the sun had stagnated somewhere,
    we lay in darkness.

    I came to steal part of you,
    that night in the back of your father's 1986 Buick Regal. With the windows down and smell of burning leaves filling our lungs.
    I came to tear out your heart
         and eat it.      

    Had the grave you dug me been a little deeper ...
    Had you tied the ropes a little tighter ...
    Had the radiation been a little weaker ...

    Things would have been different
    and someone else would be eating your brain





    Submitted on 2010-12-10 08:33:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      what caught me was the title
    i read the other two comments i think it depends on the person reading this with a title vengeance
    the evil eye can see a much deeper view to yor write either way its going to be added to my favorites

    good write
    sandman
    | Posted on 2010-12-13 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      This is how girls see the guy after he leaves her after that one time, as a monster who just came to steal. Interesting to see this from the "guys" view...good writ
    | Posted on 2010-12-13 00:00:00 | by Joybell | [ Reply to This ]
      this reminds me of the nickelback song where he sings about how she could kill him and he would still come back for her. i love how you turn the normal mushy love poem into her getting her brains eatten.. pretty cool!
    | Posted on 2010-12-11 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    188197

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love written by saartha
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Records I written by Raphael
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry