[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: vengeancedots

    Author: in shadow
    ASL Info:    22/F/ nightmares
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 581/277/103
    Words: 196
    Class/Type: Poetry/Satire
    Total Views: 389
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1061


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    There is a promise made in such sweat, contracts signed with arched backs and writhing forms.
          the skyline was on fire      
    The city was twisting upward, grasping at the stars.
    You held my hand as we watched the night devour everything,
    the sun had stagnated somewhere,
    we lay in darkness.

    I came to steal part of you,
    that night in the back of your father's 1986 Buick Regal. With the windows down and smell of burning leaves filling our lungs.
    I came to tear out your heart
         and eat it.      

    Had the grave you dug me been a little deeper ...
    Had you tied the ropes a little tighter ...
    Had the radiation been a little weaker ...

    Things would have been different
    and someone else would be eating your brain

    Submitted on 2010-12-10 08:33:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      what caught me was the title
    i read the other two comments i think it depends on the person reading this with a title vengeance
    the evil eye can see a much deeper view to yor write either way its going to be added to my favorites

    good write
    | Posted on 2010-12-13 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      This is how girls see the guy after he leaves her after that one time, as a monster who just came to steal. Interesting to see this from the "guys" view...good writ
    | Posted on 2010-12-13 00:00:00 | by Joybell | [ Reply to This ]
      this reminds me of the nickelback song where he sings about how she could kill him and he would still come back for her. i love how you turn the normal mushy love poem into her getting her brains eatten.. pretty cool!
    | Posted on 2010-12-11 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    This written by Chelebel
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Summer written by layDsayD
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Incubus written by monad
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    To written by SavedDragon
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    The Promise written by annie0888




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]