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Author: tjsmith5
ASL Info:    28/m/MS
Elite Ratio:    5.49 - 109 /231 /124
Words: 702
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1469
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 4664


Long poem but I think you'll find something in it.


When I was in high school,
I had a small circle of friends;
Louie, Dylan and Sandra.

Louie was a baseball guy with a chiseled
face and smile and the girls went to him
without him trying.

Dylan was overweight but still had girls
because he could really talk.

I had neither so I just listened
to their stories over dominoes games
and beer we sneaked
from Louie's father's stash.

Sandra was our friend too
because the other girls
didn't give her a chance
and maybe that's why I liked her.

She was short and a little pudgy
with acne that came and went
but to me she was cute
and she wasn't walled up.

Louie and Dylan didn't see it
so they kept her at friends
even though I think
she wanted it differently.

Then one day,
Sandra thought it fun
to date John, one of the five black guys
that went to our school.

We kept her around but
Louie and Dylan made comments
like "I guess Sandra's been bit
by that Alabama black snake.
I don't want that shit..."

And neither did anyone else.
The girls had always shunned her
but now the few guys that would have
taken her out never had much to say.

But I knew John.
We sat beside each other in Art class.
John barely passed his other subjects
but he wont the Art award
at the end of every year in school.

Once our Algebra teacher asked him
why he didn't apply himself
to his other studies and he said
"I don't love them."

Sandra and John only had a few dates;
football games and movies
and then they called it off
because Sandra said
"There wasn't anything there."

But the rest of the year,
no other guy approached her.
And I found out later in life
that it was the same way in
Mississippi as it was in California
or in England.

Then one day we were
walking down the hall together
and she clutched my arm
and smiled with big eyes
as she squeezed her breast against me.

Then everyone began to look
at me the way the
way they had looked at her
and Louie and Dylan
were guarded the next time
we played dominoes.

I went on my first date
and it was with Sandra.
She had lost weight over the Summer
and I thought she looked better than ever.

I had my first kiss
and it was with Sandra
and I confess that there were images
of her lips wrapped around
a frightening cock

but in time,
I grew out of that.

We were together through high school
and broke up when I went to college
where my girl failures resumed.

But I ran into John years later
at a frame shop.
He graduated with a Master's degree
in Art and was teaching
at a community college
doing framing on the side.

He rushed to shake my hand
and hug me.
He recalled my name and everything
I every tried to draw.

He asked about Sandra and I told him
she had married a much older man
and had two children
and by all accounts was happy.

We talked and he wanted my address
to mail an invitation
to his wedding in two weeks.

I went and had myself
a damn good time
with new friends.

Jackson, MS - 12/11/10

Submitted on 2010-12-12 03:21:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  RASloan has summed this poem up beautifully, vertually leaving me nothing to add except I really appreciated reading the work, and of the characters so well portrayed. Congratulations, but one thing more, --- the author comes across as someone I'd be rapt to have as a friend. Yassah! Ted.
| Posted on 2010-12-12 00:00:00 | by edcherry | [ Reply to This ]
  I think it's good and juicy on the accounts of life and the things that await us in future endeavors and to always be optimistic, hoping for the best.

The situation with the ex girlfriend (Or the person who was of an interest at that specific time.) is what gives the subject so more appeal, which describes the turntables of life after an experience such as high school and how you see people related to you through friendship grow throughout the years.

The main character it points to, you I'm assuming
seems so ready to take on the thrills of life, revolving around what is ahead to come.
The second to last part in particular.
"We talked and he wanted my address
to mail an invitation
to his wedding in two weeks."

I also like it the way it is a story and what you have done with the form to bring out the story, making it a sharp glimpse of reality.
If it didn't have the 3,4,5 line setup to be honest in my opinion it would have been uneven in form so I like the setup you used.

What makes it controversial you put a keen shimmering spot on the character making a reference to a dislike of race or something that deals with it, that also stood out to me which in fact I find it another "glimpse" of the real world and these feelings that ppl have about something such as race play a role in daily life, even in schools.

There's this reflection side to it as of you looking back with the awareness of how you have grown as a person and individual with lines like:
"When I was in high school,
I had a small circle of friends;"
"I had my first kiss" "I went on my first date."
And so on.

It's a wrapped with several things that can be looked at as themes like, nostalgia, friendship, etc.
Well put together for a story that was straight to the point of you wanting the reader to see a situation of life after high school that is common
with reflection of it.

| Posted on 2010-12-12 00:00:00 | by RASloan | [ Reply to This ]

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