Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ~fragments~dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    58/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2787/1297/258
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1303
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 362



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots~fragments~dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I
    we live in a rhythm
    between spaces
    where pauses dissolve
    without visible traces

    II
    the crackle and hum
    of fireside chants
    give ghost fables strength
    to rise and dance

    III
    like a raw, red hell
    that hissed in the sea
    the sun made peace
    with destiny




    Submitted on 2010-12-12 08:23:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is one of the poems which I wish to go on because I don't want it to end. this is great like the rest of your works. Thanks for sharing.

    Jen
    | Posted on 2012-08-29 00:00:00 | by jeniecel | [ Reply to This ]
      This has a lot of truth in it and I do admire your metaphors, each stanza is so enchanting :) nicely penned!
    | Posted on 2011-07-25 00:00:00 | by AltheaLaochra | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi Bill,

    The rhyme really works here and I'm always in awe of your sparse style that conveys so much.

    It's good to read you!

    Love

    Nan
    | Posted on 2011-06-18 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      like a raw, red hell
    that hissed in the sea
    the sun made peace
    with destiny

    I recently watched a sun set with an ocean backdrop and was amazed at how quickly it seemed to plunge out of sight. Of course there was no hissing in the sea, it simply dropped out of sight. Somehow I want to read your last line as:

    the sun made off with destiny.

    I enjoyed this. ~Chris
    | Posted on 2011-05-25 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]
      one pause i remember...you second part of this..

    the first time i was introduced to Poe's "telltale heart"

    jamoboree, boy scouts...a priest told us that story by the bonfire, we all sat around enthralled and scared out of our wits...he told it so creepily..and what a voice...and his eyes with the help of the fire maybe? scary stuff..

    nice memory for me though..i like being scared..

    thanks for that..

    and the last part...i picture the sun dropping into the sea and can hear the hiss...

    such description with your usual economy of words...

    i don't do the stalking thing...but i am going to return periodically to check out more of your work...good stuff!

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-03-22 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I've always thought of sunset as death of the daylight. The night is stronger, darker, and when the night falls asleep, turns gray, the sun sneaks back into the sky, still bleeding red/orange from the beating it took the sunset before.

    Gloaming is simply the sky bruising.
    | Posted on 2010-12-16 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice little individual going-ons. I especially like the last one. It is well titled and has the potential to grow indefinitely, doesn't it?
    | Posted on 2010-12-13 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    188224

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    coping mechanism written by cornonthekob
    Chèvrefeuille written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Untitled - 8/2017 written by homeless
    Untitled - 12/12/2017 written by homeless
    your truest people written by Daniel Barlow
    Blinded by Sight written by Torie
    I Believed written by homeless
    Shading written by saartha
    X written by homeless
    'Cause You're Mine, I Walk the Line. written by Torie
    Moon and Me written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Hazy Half-Moon written by rev.jpfadeproof
    BlackBerry Bushes written by Daniel Barlow
    One Time Is Good written by Daniel Barlow
    April 1, 2018 written by homeless
    Tidal written by OneDarkFlame92
    Chapter written by Crestfallenman
    Collision written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sleeping Giant written by MyPeriodical
    Jar (working title) written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Don't Tell Me You Love Me written by homeless
    The Forgotten Umbrella written by garnet4david
    Untitled - May 14, 2017 written by homeless
    Un Lugar Para Siempre written by SavedDragon
    Two written by homeless
    More written by homeless
    After a Dream written by KeeperOfLight
    Confessions and shit... written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled - September 19, 2017 written by homeless
    TSC written by rev.jpfadeproof

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry