Description: Yea harsh, but if the abusing aprents dont care I dont either!!! Not saying parents that abuse shouldnt get a second chance, just stop the abuse get help or least stop and feel quilty/ and not do it again.
A rough emotional explosion, yes.
Parents have a responsibility, but they think of themselves first in these situations.
And the children know the parent is wrong, and make a rather conscious decision to protect the parent over themselves.
And once they fully understand Personal Responsibility, well... it is just more money for a therapist in later life. After awhile, "Daddy/Mommy ruined my life..." doesn't cut it when you remember, "I knew I could stop it with 3 numbers, but I didn't use them."
Apparently this subject and the thought of abusive parents bothers you, which is understandable.
I see grammar errors that should be changed unless you want a person interpreting it the wrong way.
I surely believe it is something you've either experienced yourself or witnessed that may have drove you to write it with.
Here's another way to look at it, if the title, subject and idea were mine I would have totally experimented with it more to see how far I can take it just to make the reader take it way more serious.
For example, imagine if you wrote a short piece consisting of at least five hundred words about a child
who is a victim of such things but the child analyzes the abuse as well, you would get way more commentary because it would be a much more profound portrait of what is not liked in society on the basis of parenting.
But overall my example of what could have been done, I really appreciate you just even taking the time to even bottle it up into something so vivid.
Reminds me of the way children act in supermarkets or malls and how the parent can't control themselves in order to maintain the rational behavior of the child.
I thought of that when I read this.
It would be cool if you followed up with this without revision.
Try starting over but tell a story from the child's point of view who is traumatized, well damn eager to tell the reader his or her pain with only a little anger.
Because this right here is only your opinions and the way you feel, it's not a bad thing at all.
If you do happen to follow this up then I would consider this the introduction and what kept the ball rolling perhaps.
Although you seem to be the kind of writer who'll write what is bothering them without thinking thoroughly of what you are doing because you just want to get it all out, not bad either because it only means you can and will get better at what you are doing, what you are trying to get people to see, feel etc.
The last line describes your frustration and how millions of ppl feel about the subject so just try to think more on how folks will interpret what you write when you are writing it just to keep things clean.
Another thing that caught my eye was the line that refers to parent and drug use around their children which symbolizes the struggles, downfall, neglect and tainted love from the parent who is some realm or state of mind does not care how the child feels about what they see, let alone how they feel about they way they are treated.
I like the piece but there is so much, so much more you can be doing with it.
The way it's written looks like you just wanted to get some things off of your chest more than wanting a reader to explore the harsh reality and wrongdoings of guardians, foster parents.
Either way is alright with me, after all this is only what I myself thinks.I'll give it a 3.5