Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Snapfrost.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Derrick Thomas
    ASL Info:    24/Male/Alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.11 - 21/59/39
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Passion
    Total Views: 434
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 536



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSnapfrost.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    ...and we heard a loud snap. Five, maybe six crackles and then a lightning bolt shot out. A mountain fell down and some wept. Most just died.

    We hated it, all of us. (All that was left of me.)

    It screamed and all the birds died.

    Looking up, I had an epiphany: I am the air that I breathe.

    I swatted at the gnats and locust rain. My eyes stung and died and my face became red.

    Thoughts rot away when you die.

    I'm not signing anything.




    Submitted on 2010-12-16 05:15:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It's like living in fear, the terror that is a tangible part of life that you can feel as solidly as your skin. The way this is written makes me wonder if you are walking the old path again, but it is clearer and more concise than that in some ways, and more shrouded in others.
    I missed you writing. Thank you.
    | Posted on 2011-01-03 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    188278

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry