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    dots Submission Name: When I See Youdots

    Author: Little Gal
    ASL Info:    20 female, Bahrain
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 469/431/94
    Words: 27
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 966
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 186

       saw someone I miss a lot in a dream, woke up, and then wrote this

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhen I See Youdots

    The sudden feeling of happiness
    The stretching smile,
    That lifts mostly on one side of the mouth.
    The winking eye
    The earnest expression
    When I See You

    Submitted on 2004-07-27 10:13:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Short, simple, sweet, nice, explain alot with so little words. I love the capture of emotion that you displayed in this poem. I loved it because I wasn't able to see your dream, but I was able to feel every sensation in your dream. keep them coming please.
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by Nashataku | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't really say much about this as its so short and sweet, except that I like it. You certainly had some good inspiration for this piece. Is your picture from the Linkin Park video for Breaking the Habit? If not, it looks very similar...

    PS. Don't stop writing
    | Posted on 2004-09-10 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      THIS WAS A LITTLE POEM! But I liked it. Mainly since I did the same thing and I did the same thing you did. I woke up and wrote a poem...after I laughed for an hour. In fact I submitted it on the site. It's called My last dream of you...just like I told that Blizzzatch, it was forced and weak just like that relationship. Thanks for the poem it was like popcorn chicken.
    | Posted on 2004-09-05 00:00:00 | by SKillz_Heckle | [ Reply to This ]
      Second to last line, earnesty isn't a word. You can be in earnest. That's probably the way to go, either
    "The expression in earnest" or "The earnest expression"
    The last line could be "Come" when I see you, or just when I see you.
    | Posted on 2004-07-27 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      slushy mushy..
    hey since when did start having heart aches...
    dont scare ur self... it will be fine...
    any how the poem... na .. the expression of ur dream in terms of wordings seems bit like a ...
    uh i dont know..
    it was nice to read though..
    | Posted on 2004-07-27 00:00:00 | by rawpot | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey! How have you been? Glad to see you are still writing wonderful little poems. I like this one. Often times I dream of people that I have not seen in a long time. It brings just this sort of smile. It is both a happy and sad feeling. Happy because you got to share a moment with them, if only in a dream. Sad, because it was just a dream afterall. Nice little poem.
    | Posted on 2004-07-27 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      i thought it was great how you described what happends when you look at the person. Your flow was kinda off, but you did well. Short, simple, sweet, overall great
    | Posted on 2004-08-28 00:00:00 | by Nashataku | [ Reply to This ]

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