[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: When I See Youdots

    Author: Little Gal
    ASL Info:    20 female, Bahrain
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 469/431/94
    Words: 27
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 942
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 186

       saw someone I miss a lot in a dream, woke up, and then wrote this

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhen I See Youdots

    The sudden feeling of happiness
    The stretching smile,
    That lifts mostly on one side of the mouth.
    The winking eye
    The earnest expression
    When I See You

    Submitted on 2004-07-27 10:13:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Short, simple, sweet, nice, explain alot with so little words. I love the capture of emotion that you displayed in this poem. I loved it because I wasn't able to see your dream, but I was able to feel every sensation in your dream. keep them coming please.
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by Nashataku | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't really say much about this as its so short and sweet, except that I like it. You certainly had some good inspiration for this piece. Is your picture from the Linkin Park video for Breaking the Habit? If not, it looks very similar...

    PS. Don't stop writing
    | Posted on 2004-09-10 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      THIS WAS A LITTLE POEM! But I liked it. Mainly since I did the same thing and I did the same thing you did. I woke up and wrote a poem...after I laughed for an hour. In fact I submitted it on the site. It's called My last dream of you...just like I told that Blizzzatch, it was forced and weak just like that relationship. Thanks for the poem it was like popcorn chicken.
    | Posted on 2004-09-05 00:00:00 | by SKillz_Heckle | [ Reply to This ]
      Second to last line, earnesty isn't a word. You can be in earnest. That's probably the way to go, either
    "The expression in earnest" or "The earnest expression"
    The last line could be "Come" when I see you, or just when I see you.
    | Posted on 2004-07-27 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      slushy mushy..
    hey since when did start having heart aches...
    dont scare ur self... it will be fine...
    any how the poem... na .. the expression of ur dream in terms of wordings seems bit like a ...
    uh i dont know..
    it was nice to read though..
    | Posted on 2004-07-27 00:00:00 | by rawpot | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey! How have you been? Glad to see you are still writing wonderful little poems. I like this one. Often times I dream of people that I have not seen in a long time. It brings just this sort of smile. It is both a happy and sad feeling. Happy because you got to share a moment with them, if only in a dream. Sad, because it was just a dream afterall. Nice little poem.
    | Posted on 2004-07-27 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      i thought it was great how you described what happends when you look at the person. Your flow was kinda off, but you did well. Short, simple, sweet, overall great
    | Posted on 2004-08-28 00:00:00 | by Nashataku | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]