[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: When I See Youdots

    Author: Little Gal
    ASL Info:    20 female, Bahrain
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 469/431/94
    Words: 27
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 953
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 186

       saw someone I miss a lot in a dream, woke up, and then wrote this

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhen I See Youdots

    The sudden feeling of happiness
    The stretching smile,
    That lifts mostly on one side of the mouth.
    The winking eye
    The earnest expression
    When I See You

    Submitted on 2004-07-27 10:13:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Short, simple, sweet, nice, explain alot with so little words. I love the capture of emotion that you displayed in this poem. I loved it because I wasn't able to see your dream, but I was able to feel every sensation in your dream. keep them coming please.
    | Posted on 2005-12-21 00:00:00 | by Nashataku | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't really say much about this as its so short and sweet, except that I like it. You certainly had some good inspiration for this piece. Is your picture from the Linkin Park video for Breaking the Habit? If not, it looks very similar...

    PS. Don't stop writing
    | Posted on 2004-09-10 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]
      THIS WAS A LITTLE POEM! But I liked it. Mainly since I did the same thing and I did the same thing you did. I woke up and wrote a poem...after I laughed for an hour. In fact I submitted it on the site. It's called My last dream of you...just like I told that Blizzzatch, it was forced and weak just like that relationship. Thanks for the poem it was like popcorn chicken.
    | Posted on 2004-09-05 00:00:00 | by SKillz_Heckle | [ Reply to This ]
      Second to last line, earnesty isn't a word. You can be in earnest. That's probably the way to go, either
    "The expression in earnest" or "The earnest expression"
    The last line could be "Come" when I see you, or just when I see you.
    | Posted on 2004-07-27 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      slushy mushy..
    hey since when did start having heart aches...
    dont scare ur self... it will be fine...
    any how the poem... na .. the expression of ur dream in terms of wordings seems bit like a ...
    uh i dont know..
    it was nice to read though..
    | Posted on 2004-07-27 00:00:00 | by rawpot | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey! How have you been? Glad to see you are still writing wonderful little poems. I like this one. Often times I dream of people that I have not seen in a long time. It brings just this sort of smile. It is both a happy and sad feeling. Happy because you got to share a moment with them, if only in a dream. Sad, because it was just a dream afterall. Nice little poem.
    | Posted on 2004-07-27 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      i thought it was great how you described what happends when you look at the person. Your flow was kinda off, but you did well. Short, simple, sweet, overall great
    | Posted on 2004-08-28 00:00:00 | by Nashataku | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Relativity written by poetotoe
    The World written by jjd
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Love written by saartha
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Carry written by saartha
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]