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A Bi Gezunt

Author: Runes
Elite Ratio:    5.29 - 790 /815 /281
Words: 196
Class/Type: Poetry /Comedy
Total Views: 1002
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1351


A girl like that,
Who'd kill your mother,
Forget that girl and find another!
One of your own kind--
Stick to your own kind!

A Bi Gezunt

Hanukkah Harry decided to marry outside of his Jewish descent.
Tired of the dreidels he'd gotten since cradle-age,
Harry decided to be done with it.
"I want a Christmas tree!" brought his mom to her knees,
"Oy, a broch!" spat his furious dad,
but deep down dad knew that when Harry flunked Hebrew
the boy would turn goy, and sure enough, he had.

Discarding his yarmulke, Harry chose Monica,
a Mormon from the city Salt Lake;
but she was polygamist and he wasn't into this,
so Catholic Cathy was his next mistake.
After all of the chanting of bead-counting antics,
she told him she wanted 12 girls.
"We'll name them all Mary!" she vowed, so he carried
her fertile non-birth controlled ass back to church.

"Oy Rabbi, these shiksas just have me all mixed up!"
Said Rabbi, "Don't think with your shvantz!
Leave these gentiles alone and go back to your home,
stop ver clempting your mother, stop being a nahr!"
So Hanukkah Harry went back home and married
a nafka that lived down the lane.
"At least she'll put out!" his proud father spouts,
while his mother just mutters, "Oy vey!"

Submitted on 2010-12-18 03:46:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  In what world have I not read this before? Like seriously, excuse me, why did I miss this, why???

Also: can I crawl inside your brain for a little while and see if I can figure you out?

You know, I spent a long time wanting to become Jewish. I don't know why. I decided I should at least try to be religious, and judaism appealed to me the most. Prolly still does, you know. I think it's the rules. I'm a good candidate for a cult. Maybe we should start one?

Loosely based around Judaism, I'm thinking, but maybe less strict in places, like we can eat bacon sandwiches, actually, we have to eat them on saturdays. Because god said so. And we'll have to start capitalising that. God. Golly God. Oh wait, no saying the lord's name in vain.

Oh feck. Ok, You come up with the next rule. Like we can't ever cut our hair. Something like that.

Ho hum.
| Posted on 2011-03-06 00:00:00 | by AlyRose | [ Reply to This ]
  I thought this was going to be about holy hocks. or was that holey socks. Well it is still a fun read a grass is greener kind of thing. In fact I have seen this happen to
people and the clash of cultures does not often end well.
| Posted on 2010-12-19 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]

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