Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Bird catching

Author: expiring_touch
ASL Info:    30/f/Hamburg
Elite Ratio:    3.94 - 139 /256 /171
Words: 66
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1145
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 469


Bird catching

My dearest is escaping through the wall.
I try to catch him -

For the scattered feathers,
sweet flustered pigeon,
in my hand

behold the carnivorous curl -
malicious lips upon the tightened vessels -

I'll take the scissors,
cut the whiteness
and make my own collage -

his shaking
and resentful
for backdrop.

Submitted on 2010-12-22 09:15:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  this is so kewl I may not be a bird but I am tempted to let you cut out my heart for a backdrop. I started falling in love with you in the third stanza. The rest of the poem just hammered more nails in my coffin.
| Posted on 2011-01-01 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
  1. It seem hard not to hurt
2. A certain compliment can be like sharp knife
3. Reliefed and a bit scattered at the same time
4. Since I read it here
5. Of the heart
6. Its supposed connection to "reality"
7. How rosty my heart's mirror is...
8. Non-verbal communication
9. By a bit more optimism and joy
10. I would try not to let my fears be a co-author of the piece
11. Somebody who is trying to convince him or herself of the meaningfulness of life etc. by words
12. In the extend of 11.
| Posted on 2010-12-24 00:00:00 | by namenlos | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?