Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Beginning dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Blackphoenix14
    ASL Info:    17/male/AR
    Elite Ratio:    1.78 - 26/87/67
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 428
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 583



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBeginning dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I watched the moon last night....
    Surrounded by its countless stars
    Where we often find our answers and form our own images
    With each blinking star descends a thousand nails
    Shredding even the countenance which seems to be
    The moon shines ever so still
    Sitting, watching with no interference
    Where's my base?
    My center for which I can stand as it pulls me in
    Where is day?
    Such an empty realm...
    No sun to implode, or even pull me in...
    And I have yet to learn it's what holds me, still.




    Submitted on 2010-12-29 19:17:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Seems like the speaker is lost, feels as though their floating with no solid directionality. I like the wording and the questions in the middle. Very good
    | Posted on 2010-12-31 00:00:00 | by TheInvisible | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    188520

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry