i want to say i am useless
with words. but i want to say
i am here, so listen closely:
whatever it is i am about to speak
will be heartfelt, drawn out,
interspersed alternately with
you-knows and i-don't-knows
as i grope soundlessly for
the facility that comes so effortlessly
only to a dimensionless white audience,
speechless, scored side-to-side
with fine blue lines.
it is now, in the evening
that thoughts run rampant
on the open stage of my mind,
interspersed alternately with
i'd-like-to-knows and
maybe-you-don't-cares and
i-hope-they-didn't-notices.
for i feel i am predictable,
readable as a shadow in a certain slant of sun,
palpable as a heartbeat,
yet white-capped and uneven as waves.
if you could find me here, between
moments, maybe just before
a sigh;
just after
a careless smile
i would be open to another way of being;
another way less full
i need intrusion, rough handling,
gentle caress. i want to say
meet me here and you will understand,
you will be rewarded.
i want to explain how i expect too much,
hold too fiercely, hold myself
to standards by which i could only fail
continually. because
i want to know it all; the mechanics of the world,
how my own mind turns its steady bruising gears |
Submission Name: Interspersed Alternately
