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    dots Submission Name: Interspersed Alternatelydots

    Author: Soul-Hugger
    ASL Info:    33/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 401/217/62
    Words: 221
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 468
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1545

       not meant to be a literary masterpiece. this is raw, the way i wrote it down.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInterspersed Alternatelydots

    i want to say i am useless
    with words. but i want to say
    i am here, so listen closely:
    whatever it is i am about to speak
    will be heartfelt, drawn out,
    interspersed alternately with
    you-knows and i-don't-knows
    as i grope soundlessly for
    the facility that comes so effortlessly
    only to a dimensionless white audience,
    speechless, scored side-to-side
    with fine blue lines.

    it is now, in the evening
    that thoughts run rampant
    on the open stage of my mind,
    interspersed alternately with
    i'd-like-to-knows and
    maybe-you-don't-cares and

    for i feel i am predictable,
    readable as a shadow in a certain slant of sun,
    palpable as a heartbeat,
    yet white-capped and uneven as waves.

    if you could find me here, between
    moments, maybe just before
    a sigh;
    just after
    a careless smile
    i would be open to another way of being;
    another way less full

    i need intrusion, rough handling,
    gentle caress. i want to say
    meet me here and you will understand,
    you will be rewarded.
    i want to explain how i expect too much,
    hold too fiercely, hold myself
    to standards by which i could only fail
    continually. because
    i want to know it all; the mechanics of the world,
    how my own mind turns its steady bruising gears

    Submitted on 2010-12-31 11:13:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You throw me a curve from the start. (I want to say I am useless with words.) I find it hard to believe that you want to say, you are useless with words. You may or may not feel you are useless with words; it is that you want to say it I doubt. What I feel you are saying is (I feel my ability with words will not be adequate to properly express what I wish to say.)
    I do not know what a dimensionless white audience is.
    The second stanza I like. I am particularly fond of the last two lines of stanza two, with a slight favoritism for the last line thereof.
    That is just too kewl.
    I am finding it hard to get a handle on stanza three. I am going with I am predictable in my unpredictability.
    Moving on to stanza four, I think I have the drift but the last four words leave me unsure. Do you mean another way less chaotic, or perhaps less cluttered? Then again, you could mean full, as in all your time is taken up, and you could do with some easy empty space to revel in.
    Stanza five, the last stanza, I will go out on a limb with my saw and say you want a teacher mentor that you can pretend is an equal. You may not have meant to say that, it could be that it is just the way I am reading it. However if you want to know it all you will either need one very smart helper or a passel of helpers and a very long life to accomplish it.
    Now at this point I do not know which is confusing me more, your poem or my take on it.

    | Posted on 2010-12-31 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]

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